Page 61 of Under Ground
We chat a while longer, but I’m not much closer to finding a solution.
What the hell do I do now?
15
Lana
After a few days off, I’m restless. But it’s the end of the week, and Casey and I start next week with a clean slate.
Not seeing Alex hurts so much, but I had to make the break. Someone thought their need for gossip about his life was more important than my child’s safety, and even if this attempt failed, we might not be as lucky next time.
The evenings are the worst part.
Casey’s asleep, and I just miss Alex. By this time of night, he’s usually here and I’m in his arms while we just talk before going to bed.
Now the living room seems cold and lifeless. I never noticed it before.
I don’t even feel like drawing.
My phone rings, and an unknown number comes up on the screen. I’m always in two minds about what to do with these. I’m not listed anywhere, and I only really keep the phone for the internet and if I have to make appointments.
At least if it’s a scam call, it’ll give me something to do.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Lana. It’s Delaney Carter here.”
Holy cow. Josh Carter’s wife? What is she doing, calling me?
“Hi.” I squeak.
“I haven’t caught you at a bad time, have I?” she asks.
I look around the room. Why, I have no idea. It’s not like she can see, and the living room is as tidy as it always is—fairly neat, with a few toys and a basket of washing in the corner.
“No. My little girl, Casey has just gone to sleep and I was just about to watch some TV.”
“Are you two okay?”
Her caring tone nearly makes my eyes prick with tears. I don’t want to cry again, but just having someone on the other end of the line who’s checking up on me without obligation is overwhelming.
“I think we will be.”
“Good. I hope you don’t mind me calling, but Alex called Reece for some advice, and Reece spoke to us because we’ve had issues with photos being taken of our kids—our daughter when we lived back home. Thankfully, we haven’t had anyone do anything more than that. You must be so scared.”
I sniff. “Terrified. If the day care weren’t as observant, or if that girl had a more sinister motive …”
“Doesn’t matter what her motives were. It scared the shit out of you. And I know you’re not going to be over that any time soon. We were lucky and I had both my bestie and a supportive community …” She pauses. “Alex seemed to indicate you were, well, on your own.”
I break down—the stress of the past few days decides to come out all at once while this stranger is on the phone comforting me. “I’m so sorry for doing this. It’s just been such a difficult week.”
“It’s okay,” she says. “I have my girls and I understand. Just know you’re not alone.”
“Thank you.” I reach for a tissue from the box on the coffee table and wipe my face. “I haven’t really had anyone to talk to.”
“I figured. And I’m here for you if you need someone. I’ve been in your shoes—not to that extent, but I know what it’s like to worry. It’s such a fucked up thing to have to deal with.”
I blow my nose. “It really is.”