Page 54 of Throw Down
The porch was plain but tidy, lit by an old orange bulb and an electric bug zapper.The sky was the precise shade of midnight blue that only happened right after sunset.Trees and mountains looked like black cut-outs against the backdrop of the velvety sky.Crickets chirped, and something crackled in the distance.A woodland animal, Briar guessed.
He sank into a massive rocking chair, relaxing into the rich green scent of the spring night.There was a bite in the air, and the hint of distant woodsmoke, but it was still warm enough that Derek didn't look cold in his t-shirt.
Derek handed him a paper plate filled with a slice of pie so big it could count as dinner.The crust was flaky and buttery and stuffed with peaches oozing in golden juice.
Briar moaned at his first bite.
“Oh man, why is country cooking so good?” His lashes fluttered in ecstasy.“This is why I’ve gained ten pounds since moving here.”
“Looks good on you,” Derek said idly, avoiding eye contact and forking up a bite of his own.
They ate side by side, chairs pulled so close that their arms brushed whenever theyshifted.The companionable silence felt friendly and intimate in a way Briar had neverexperienced.He genuinely enjoyed time withDerek.It wasn’t just a rush of physical attraction or desperate fear of beingalone.Just the simple pleasure of sharing a moment with someone he caredabout.
Maybe that’s what real relationships were all about, hemused.Not grand gestures or dangerously stupid liaisons, but these quiet moments of simpleconnection.
He toyed with Derek’s sleeve as they ate, teasing the smooth, warm skin beneath his cuff.Derek allowed it without comment, and it felt like winning the lottery.Not just because he had the most gorgeous body Briar had ever seen in real life, but because he’d given Briar permission to touch.It felt like petting a feral cat.Earning enough trust to get close was something worth bragging about.
“What’s with that face?” Derek asked, and Briar realized he’d been grinning like a fool.
“Just happy,” he said, stroking his bicep with an idle finger.“Hey, can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot.”
“Why did you say kissing was never a part of your fantasies?Do you not like it?”
Derek paused with his fork halfway to his mouth, then he set it back down with a sigh.“I like it fine,” he said. “Better than fine when it’s with you.It’s just that I never really thought of it.Whenever I dared to search for porn on our old dial-up, the actors didn’t exactly focus on romance.”
“Yeah, but that was a long time ago,” Briar protested.“Porn’s evolved.”
“I haven’t looked at that stuff in a long time,” Derek said wryly.
“What?” Briar couldn’t keep the shock off his face.“But…why? You’re a grown man.You’ve got direct access to it in your pocket all the time.”
Derek shrugged, elaborately casual.“It just seemed best not to taunt myself with something I couldn’t ever have.”
Briar’s mouth was already open, ready to shoot the first dozen outraged responses that crossed his mind, when he suddenly thought better of it.Derek seemed to have gone out of his way to choose a restrictive, joyless life for no obvious reason.It hurt to hear about him punishing himself, year after year, just for having the same human desires that his family accepted in his younger brother.But something about his tight expression had Briar biting his tongue.He recognized a painful, tender spot, and his finely honed survival instinct told him to avoid it at all costs.In his experience, prodding at the minefield of other people’s wounds only ever caught him in the blast radius.
“It’s okay,” he said quickly, rushing to fill the awkward silence. “You’ve got a chance now. That’s all that matters, right?”
“Yeah.” Derek’s voice was thick.He reached out to cup Briar’s face, stroking his cheekbone with the rough edge of his thumb.“I just hate being the inexperienced one here.Whenever I look at you, I feel this…this need to take care of you—”
“I can take care of myself,” Briar interrupted sharply.
“I know.” Derek shushed him by pressing his thumb against Briar’s lower lip.“It’s not about that. You deserve someone who can give you everything, and I can’t.I don’t even know how. I’m flying blind, and it makes me feel stupid.”
“I bet this is the first time you’ve ever had to admit that,” Briar quipped, hiding behind a veil of humor so Derek couldn’t see how touched he was.
“You’ve been nothing but firsts,” Derek said wryly.
“Yeah, but—but so have you,” Briar blurted, scooting to the edge of his seat.“Don’t you see? I’ve never dated anyone like you.Never even known anyone like you.Everyone else always made me feel young and stupid and—and—frivolous.And now…compared to you, I am all those things, but you’ve never once made me feel that way.You don’t give me pretty words, but for the first time in my life, I feel…seen.Wanted. Just the way I am.”
“You are.” Derek spoke so softly that Briar was forced to look closely to make sure he heard it right.Then Derek met his gaze, unflinching, and his eyes were so green and so direct that Briar knew he hadn’t gotten it wrong.“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something so much.”
“Then take me,” Briar said breathlessly.“As much as you want for as long as you want.I’m yours.”
His heart was racing as he slipped out of his chair and slid onto Derek’s lap.He took the forgotten plate from Derek’s hand and kissed him before he could think twice.He’d seduced and been seduced, but the stakes had never felt so high.
Derek’s arm instantly encircled his waist, pulling him close, sheltering him in his warmth and strength.He didn’t hesitate. Even if he felt lost, his hands were sure and steady.The only sign that he was affected was the rapid pulse throbbing at the base of his throat, and the swelling hardness pressing up against Briar’s aching balls.