Page 68 of Throw Down
He was wearing a thermal cap and a down jacket zipped to his chin.Derek almost snapped back at him, but one look at his pinched, worried face had him rethinking.
“A semi jackknifed coming out of the canyon.I had to detour,” Derek said, hanging onto his patience.
He scanned the array of familiar faces.Their grim expressions only fed the yawning pit in his own stomach.They all knew the statistics.Whole families had died after getting stranded up the wrong road.Hypothermia could set in at temperatures as warm as sixty-five degrees Fahrenheit if wet clothes were in the mix.
“Any word?” he asked hoarsely.
Nate shook his head, his breath puffing white in front of his face.“All my calls went straight to voicemail.We already checked the route he was supposed to follow, but there’s no sign of him.”
“We’ll find him.” Tucker Grace spoke confidently, coming up behind Nate and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.Nate clutched his hand and sank gratefully back against him.
Derek unwillingly zeroed in on their clasped hands.A lump swelled in his throat.So many times, he’d wanted to reach out and touch Briar in public.So many times, he’d resisted.It hadn’t seemed important, at the time, to risk stirring up gossip and upsetting his mother for something so trivial.He’d banked on having more chances.Endless opportunities. But what if he didn’t?What if this was it—as close as he was ever going to get to true happiness.
Briar was out there, alone, frightened…and thinking he wasn’t even important enough for Derek to hold in public.The more Derek thought about it, the tighter his chest grew and the harder it became to breathe.
West's sudden voice broke his downward spiral.“We’ll find him.” He stepped up beside Derek and dropped a reassuring squeeze on the back of his neck.“Ain’t no question about that.We’re gonna find him, brother.”
“What are you doing here?” Derek growled.
“I volunteered the ranch’s ATVs,” West said, gesturing toward a pack of vehicles and waiting cowboys.“I consider Briar a friend.”
Derek scoffed. “You think everyone is your friend,” he said disdainfully.
“And you’re my brother,” West finished, ignoring his interruption.He faced Derek, calmly meeting his eyes, and added, “You’re my brother, Derek, and you need me.Where else would I be?”
“I don’t—you don’t need to—” Derek tried to force the words out, but he couldn’t finish the sentence.He couldn’t bring himself to lie and pretend he didn’t need help, not with Briar’s safety at risk, but he couldn’t allow himself to ask for it either.
Sympathy, and maybe something like pity, filled his brother’s eyes.West opened his mouth, but whatever he’d been about to say was cut off by the rumble of a familiar engine.
“You weren’t seriously going to leave me behind?” James demanded, hopping out of his truck with an air of outrage.
“It’s none of your business,” Derek retorted.“Go home to Jennie and the kids.”
James shot him a scathing look.“You kidding? Jennie’s on her way here with Susan and Ian.They just had to drop the kids off with the folks first.”
Derek felt a jolt of instant denial.He shook his head. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. He’d never accepted help; he’d never allowed himself to be vulnerable enough.He was the superman his family relied on in a crisis, not the other way around.But he didn’t have a choice. Seconds were ticking away.He needed to find Briar. He needed Briar, needed him so much he couldn’t breathe, and he needed every bit of help he could get to find him.
“I…” He swallowed, but the lump in his throat remained.He'd never felt so helpless. It took a couple tries before he admitted hoarsely, “I can’t go back to what my life was without him.”
His brothers exchanged glances in a language he didn’t understand, and then James rolled his eyes and snatched him up in a fierce bear hug. Even with all his strength, Derek couldn’t escape. Maybe he didn’t want to. Maybe he secretly wanted the comfort.
“About damn time you admitted it.” James’s voice was choked with pride.
Derek pulled away at the sound of footsteps. Eli Jackson was approaching, his expression grim.
“We’re setting up a grid search.” The sheriff handed each of them a paper map. “We can cover a lot of ground on the ATVs, but terrain up here is rough.There’s plenty of gullies and hidden drops to account for, especially if he went off road, so we’ll also need search teams on foot.”
“Then we shouldn’t waste any more time,” Derek said, grabbing a flashlight and radio from the pile on the trunk of the nearest cruiser.
The volunteers split into groups, and Derek plunged into the densest part of the forest.James and West stayed on his heels the whole way.Derek led from the front, calling back to his brothers whenever hidden roots or rocks jumped out at them.The undergrowth was thick with brambles and the trees grew so close together they couldn’t see the sky.Apart from the distant beam of flashlights from the other search parties, there were no signs of humanity.
“Watch your step!” he warned, catching a stumbling James in the beam of his flashlight.
“Derek—Jesus, man—I know you’re worried about Briar, but we need to slow down,” West cautioned, his voice strained as he struggled to keep up.“It won’t do him any good if we end up snapping our ankles.”
Derek cracked his neck, easing the knots between his shoulder blades, and tried to project a calm he didn’t feel.The desperation he’d been ruthlessly suppressing had begun to creep up and strangle him.
“He’s out here alone, West.” Derek’s voice was hoarse from shouting Briar’s name.“If you two can’t keep up, Sabbath and I will go on alone.”