Page 29 of No Cap

“You’re splitting hairs,” he countered, jaw set.

“I’m following the letter of the law to a T,” I disagreed. “And just to be honest, this restraining order is a sham anyway. I didn’t even have to go to court for it or anything. Didn’t get to plead my case. Didn’t even know that I had a restraining order until I got this letter in the mail a couple of weeks back that said the temporary restraining order against me was now a full blown one.”

His jaw twitched again.

Damn, the man had a great jaw.

His dirty blond hair once again fell into his eyes, and I had to force myself not to reach up and push it out of the way for him.

“I hate that this happened to you,” he started to say. “But one of these days, you’re not going to get an understanding cop like me, and they’ll take you to jail. You need to leave. Go home, stop whatever it is you’re doing to make his life a ‘living hell’ like Alana said, and move on.”

That’s when I got angry.

It was unfortunate; this man hadn’t done a damn thing to me.

But he had the poor timing to say I needed to move on when I fucking couldn’t.

I tried, dammit!

Stiffening my spine, I moved into him, poking him in the chest.

“I can’t move on from this, Officer Carter,” I snarled. “You want to know why?”

“Why?” His left eye twitched.

“Because, whether he claims it or not, he’s directly responsible for…” I started.

He interrupted me, though.

“That’s not his fault.” He was already shaking his head sadly.

“It is!” I cried out, throwing my hands wide.

He caught both of my hands, then pulled me in close. “It’s not.”

The way he said it made me pause, as if he was speaking from experience.

“But…”

“My sister took her life four years ago,” he said softly.

I stiffened.

“She was seeing a man who treated her like shit. Like your friend, he was likely responsible for a lot of her issues. But in the end, she chose to end it. She chose not to talk to someone. She chose not to come to us with her issues. She chose not to let anyone know she was having a hard time, and she chose to take her own life,” he said softly. Too softly, as if he was scared I would break. “I had to stop blaming myself for not noticing the signs. I was the last one to see her. I went over to Germany to visit and I missed every single sign.”

My shoulders deflated. “Shit.”

“So yes, he’s an asshole. Yes, he could’ve handled things a hell of a lot differently. But in the end, she was the one to do it. Nobody else,” he said. “And you have to stop making it hard for everyone else because you feel like he’s responsible. It’ll get you in trouble, and do you think Keda would’ve wanted that?”

He remembered her name?

“You remember her name?” I repeated my inner thoughts.

“I remember almost all of my victims’ names,” he answered. “The only ones I don’t are the ones who were very early in my career, and they weren’t actually my cases.”

I sighed, blowing out a breath.

“And, just sayin’, but if I catch you anywhere near him again, I’ll arrest you. I don’t care if it’s just you accidentally ran into each other in the grocery store. Keep your shit straight,” he ordered harshly.