Page 4 of Maddest Temptation

“I’m tired, Mother. It has been a tiring couple of months.”

“Well then, it’s best we get this over with.”

Mother sat straight and took something from her purse. It was a manila envelope which she proceeded to shove toward me.

“What is that?” My hands were damp, so I wiped them on my dress.

“Open it.”Mamma’s vague response added to my unease.

“What, are you FBI or some shit like that, why the suspense?” I chuckled nervously trying to diminish the tension.

I reached for the manila envelope and opened it, picked up the black-and-white picture, and stared at it for a while trying my hardest to identify what it was. “Is someone pregnant?” It was the only response I could come up with.

“It’s a liver, Francesca.” Mamma snapped the picture from my fingers.

“Forgive me, I’m not graduated in Grey’s Anatomy.” Even though I’d watched a total of sixteen seasons until now.

“I have cancer.”

There was a long silence that followed. Mamma took the picture and shoved it inside the envelope and put it back into her purse, as though it had never been there to start with.

I waited for the other shoe to drop, for my mother to tell me this was a joke, but Mamma never joked. She had always gone straight for the kill, never sugar-coating things. I took one long look at her. Yes, she was skinny, but then she always had been. She was paler and a bit crestfallen, but she had been so ever since my older brother Savio died. But cancer, no, I couldn’t believe it.

“How long have you known?”

“Three months.” She answered, and I sucked in a deep breath.

“Does father know?”I questioned.

“Yes.” She said simply.

“Does Marco?”

“No, and it will remain that way. Your father does not wish for anyone else to know, he didn’t want me to tell you –

“Why not?” I raised my voice slightly, shoving my nails into the palm of my hand to keep the anger at bay.

“Mind your tone, Francesca.” She looked around embarrassed.

“Why are you telling me then? How have you been treating it? Have you been talking with your doctor? How far along? Is there a cure or some experiments?”

“Francesca, you are rambling. Take a deep breath.”

Suddenly, I was a little girl all over again seeking my mother’s comfort, but I wasn’t little anymore, I was a grown adult. There was no one to hold my hand and lead me through the darkness.

Guilt dug its claws into me, and it was painful. I pushed my nails into the palm of my hands—harder this time—and focused on that pain instead of the one growing in my chest. Mamma had been seeking my help, and I had ignored her. What kind of person did that? What a shitty daughter I was. It didn’t matter how estranged we were, I’d be there for her through it all.

“What do you need?” I sounded braver in my head, but the truth was, I was scared shitless of something happening to my mother.

“I have a doctor’s appointment next week –”

“So, it’s early stages?” My hopes got up. Stupid of me to do so because soon after, Mamma crushed it.

“I’m starting chemo. I’m at stage IV and he thinks, for now, chemo might work,” she answered like she was testing the words herself like she was now realizing the gravity of her diagnosis.

“Might?”

“It’s pretty advanced, Francesca.” Mamma sounded annoyed, but I realized it was just years of learning how to hide her feelings.