Page 18 of I Will Ruin You
Andrew said he would.
I was at my desk, trying to focus on lesson planning for the coming week, when there was a soft rapping at my open door. I looked up and saw Sally Berwick.
“Got a minute?” she asked.
I nodded and waved her in. I got up and the two of us sat sideways in student desks, across from each other, almost knee to knee.
“I just wanted to be sure about something,” she said. “He really said my name? You heard him say he was coming for me?”
I wasn’t going to tell her LeDrew had referred to her as “Fat Sally,” although I had told that to the police. But she was the only Sally on staff, and she tended to fit the description.
“Yes,” I said.
She nodded solemnly, as if this confirmation was what she was waiting to hear. “I’m quitting,” she said, just like that.
“Maybe that’s not something you should decide right now. Give it some time.”
“I can’t do this anymore. I’m clearly not good at what I do. I thought I was helping that boy.”
“You are good at what you do. I bet you did everything you could for him.”
“No, no, I didn’t. I believed what I’d been told by others. That he had intellectual limitations. But I should have judged him on my own, found out what made him tick. I had a sense things at home were not good, that he wasn’t close to his father, who was distant, critical. Maybe I could have steered him toward something that would have suited him, but still presented a challenge, instead of underestimating him the way others had. Then maybe he wouldn’t have become so... so angry about how we failed him. How I failed him.”
Sally dug her fingernails into her palms. “It’s not that I’m scared some other student is going to come in here and hunt us all down. I don’t think lightning will strike twice like that. But I don’t want to fail any more kids.”
I took her hand in mine, pried open her fingers to get a better grip. “I don’t know anyone in this school who cares about kids more than you do.”
She smiled sadly at me. “They need someone in the billing department where my husband works. I don’t have a lot of experience but they said I’ll get the hang of it really fast and the job’s there if I want it. I’ve put in enough years that I’ll get a good chunk of my teachers’ pension.”
“If you think that’s what’s best.”
“Every day now feels like a gift. We have a bit of money set aside, so we think we’ll do some traveling, too. I’ve always wanted to go to London. Have you been to London?”
I nodded. “You’ll love it.” I let go of her hand.
“I want to see Buckingham Palace.” She grinned. “Maybe the king will invite us in for tea.”
“I’ll call ahead, set something up.”
She gave me another smile. “What about you? You staying?”
I shrugged. “I guess. I’m otherwise unemployable.”
“Has it... changed you?”
I considered the question. “I don’t think I know yet. But I’ll tell you this. I’m ready for my life to get back to normal.” I thought of something I wanted to ask her.
“Did Mark ever mention anything about a lawnmower man?”
Sally pushed her lips out, thinking. “Wasn’t that a horror movie? I remember our son watching something like that.”
“Yeah. But did he ever refer to an actual person that way?”
“Maybe it was something he wanted to be, like getting a job with a landscaping company.”
I held her hand again and gave it a brief squeeze. “Enjoy your new life.”
Eight