Page 60 of I Will Ruin You

“Yeah?”

“You already know, but I talked to Arthur after he talked to you. They’ll cover your legal bills. They’ll get you a lawyer. The lawsuit’s bullshit. And honestly, if they didn’t support you, and it went public, the blowback would be significant.” She made quote marks with her fingers, like she was reading a headline. “Hero Teacher Screwed Over by Union.”

“All good, I guess.” That fucking Arthur. I was going to tell Bonnie I was on my own, that I still needed the money.

“So you don’t need to sell the boat.” She smiled. “Simple as that.”

“Great, but I made a deal with Jack and I don’t intend to break it.”

“I already have,” Bonnie said.

For a second there, the world was spinning.

“What?”

“I talked to him,” she said. “I explained things.”

“Explained things how?”

“I told him why you thought you needed the money and now you don’t. That selling the boat was a hasty, impulsive decision at a time when you’ve been under so much stress. He totally understood. He was fine with it.” She paused, and then, with a hint of attitude, said, “You’re welcome.”

I had put both hands atop my head. I turned away from her, pacing.

“Shit,” I said. “Shit shit shit.”

I brought my hands down, turned and faced her, shaking my head from side to side. “You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have done that without talking to me first.”

“Oh, so you’re the one who has to be consulted, but not me.”

“Fuck!” I said. “Did he have the cash?” Almost without even realizing it, I had put my hand on my chest, trying to slow my heart down. “Did he have it on him? He said he was going to have it.”

“Yes, he had it! And I told him to keep it!”

I made a move in the direction of Jack’s place and Bonnie grabbed my arm, stopping me. “No,” she said.

I shook her arm off. “You don’t know what you’ve done.” I was starting to tremble. I could feel sweat bubbling up on my forehead.

“If I don’t know, then maybe you’d better explain it to me. Maybe you better tell me what the fuck is really going on.”

“I’m handling it,” I told her. “I’ve got it under control!”

“Handling what, for God’s sake? Are you gambling? You don’t even buy scratch tickets. What the hell is it?” Suddenly her face fell, imagining the worst. “It’s not a woman. Tell me it’s got nothing to do with another woman.”

“For fuck’s sake, Bonnie,” I said, exhausted.

“If you won’t tell me what’s going on, don’t blame me for thinking the worst.”

I had to get the money. I had to tell Jack that Bonnie didn’t know what she was doing. He’d think we were both nuts, but so long as I got the cash, I was confident I could resolve this mess.

I didn’t know what else to do.

“Trust me,” I said, but the words barely came out. My breathing was quick and shallow. Something was wrong.

Bonnie shook her head. “No, I can’t.” She raised a finger, pointed it at me. “If you don’t tell me why you need that ten thousand dollars, right now, right this second, I’m going in that house, packing two bags, and Rachel and I are going to a hotel. We’re leaving. I’m dead serious. It’s up to you. Make a choice. Tell me what’s happening, or say goodbye to us.”

I took three wavering steps toward my car, put a hand on the front fender to steady myself, and said, “I think I’m going to pass out.”

Twenty-Seven