Page 31 of Sizzle

I didn’t imagine her gasp this time.

“Sorry, let me just—” Joelle stands like she’s going to leave and I catch her hand before she can step away.

“Joelle.” It’s all I can do not to growl at her and still she won’t meet my eyes. “Joelle.” I wait until she looks at me.

God, her every thought is there for all the world to see. I make a mental note to warn her someday about never playing poker if money’s involved.

It’s all there, everything I was afraid of. Shame, certainly. Nerves most of all. And the one that nearly guts me, fear.

“We need to talk about this,” I say, though I don’t have a goddamn clue what I’m going to say. But I have to make it better. I can’t have her walking around afraid. What is she afraid of, exactly? Of me? God, I couldn’t live with myself.

Joelle jerks her hand away and my world goes a little dark.

“I don’t think we do,” she says coldly. “If you’re going to fire me, I’d appreciate it if you’d just get it over with. No need to drag it out.”

My jaw hits the floor.

“That’s what you’re worried about?”

She glares at me, waiting for the final blow.

“You’re not getting fired. If anything, I owe you an apology.”

Now it’s her turn to be shocked. I’m sorely tempted to trace the O of her open mouth with my fingertips, but now is not the time and this is definitely not the place.

Which reminds me that me and Joelle… we don’t have a time and place, not as long as she works for me. My stomach knots up at the thought.

“I should never have intruded on you and Alex the other night. What you do in your off time is entirely your business. I never meant to make you uncomfortable in any way. It was unprofessional of me and I’m sorry. Doubly so if you actually thought I’d fire you over it.” I force myself to look her in the eye while I say it.

Joelle seems not to know what to think of all this.

“Are you saying…” she starts. She swallows hard and tries again. “Are you saying you don’t—that you didn’t want—”

I reach for her hand, slowly, giving her plenty of time to pull away if she so chooses. Her fingers are delicate, but I have reason to know their strength. Against my better judgment, I lift her hand to my mouth, holding her fingers against my lips for a long moment, not kissing them, not moving. Just to hold her there a moment before I lower her hand and let go.

“I have never wanted any woman the way I want you.”

Her eyes go wide.

“Then,” she says slowly. “Is it Alex? Do you not want—”

I don’t know how to answer that.

Why don’t I know how to answer that?

“Joelle, for as long as you work here, you are safe from me. Do you understand? Your job is not in jeopardy. My actions the other night are my responsibility and mine alone. You’re not at fault here.”

She’s meeting my eyes now, and it does crazy things to my pulse.

“I don’t think ‘fault’ has any part of this,” she says carefully. “But I appreciate your apology, even if I don’t agree you need to give it to me.”

“Will working with me make you uncomfortable? Because I can make arrangements around that.” Meaning I wouldn’t be in the building while she worked. It’ll gut me if she says yes, but I’ll do whatever it takes if it keeps her coming back here.

“Yes,” she says and I think I’m going to die. But then she smiles, a flirtatious half-smile that I’ve never seen from her before. “But not the kind of uncomfortable you mean.”

She’s… Jesus Christ, she’s flirting with me.

I’m so taken aback all I can do is sputter. Joelle has never once, not even for a minute, flirted with me.