Page 38 of Sizzle
“That’s promising,” he says, reaching over to take my hand. “I think you’re wonderful, too.” I tug my hand back gently.
“But I don’t think we should see each other again.”
He’s not surprised by this but he also doesn’t look upset. So… okay. That’s confusing. I’m trying to come up with something else to say when he finally speaks up.
“Tell me why.”
“It’s just not a good idea,” I say. Lame. So lame. I am going to die alone because I am so unbelievably lame.
“You must have a reason,” he says evenly. “I want to hear it.”
“I—I don’t—” This was a terrible idea. “There’s somebody else.” His eyebrows shoot up but Alex doesn’t take his eyes off the road.
“You’re seeing somebody else?”
“Um, no. Not exactly,” I say. I take a deep breath and spit out the truth. “But I’m interested in someone else, and it’s not fair to you for me to pretend otherwise.”
“Hmm.”
That’s supposed to be it, right? The conversation is over. I haven’t broken up with a guy since high school, but I think this is usually the end of things.
“This other guy,” says Alex slowly. “Is he someone at the restaurant?”
“First of all, you’re assuming an awful lot thinking it’s a guy,” I say. Alex’s face goes blank and I’m sorely tempted to laugh at the shock and flagrant arousal I see flare up in its wake. “Yes, it’s someone at work. And yes, he’s a guy.”
Alex is fighting a smile, which is so completely at odds with the conversation we’re having. Aren’t breakups supposed to be a bad thing? I’m pretty sure one or both of us is supposed to be upset about this. But Alex only looks amused and I’m way more turned on than I should be, all things considered.
“Okay,” says Alex. “No more assumptions. I’m just going to ask you straight up: is Elliot the other man you’re interested in?”
We pull up to a red light and he looks at me, waiting for my answer.
“Yes.” I can’t meet his eyes.
The last five minutes to my house take about a hundred thousand years. We don’t make any more conversation and I can’t stop sneaking looks at him. He’s so damn handsome. And so kind. It occurs to me that I know next to nothing about him, and I’ve gone and thrown out any chance of learning more.
Alex pulls up to the curb in front of my house. It’s already dark out, early as it is. Winter is definitely here.
I’m reaching for the door when Alex reaches for my hand again. I let him hold on, tears welling up, biting my lip to keep them from falling.
“Joelle,” he says softly. “Joelle, look at me.”
I do and can’t keep one tear from spilling over. Alex brushes my cheek with the back of his hand, wiping the moisture away.
“Joelle, what if you didn’t have to choose between us?”
The world goes eerily still.
“What?”
“Me and Elliot. What if you didn’t have to choose between us? What if you could be with us both?”
Images of that night, my body moving against Alex’s, the memory of Elliot’s groans from just a few feet away, flit through my mind.
“You’re talking about a threesome. You and me and Elliot,” I say.
“I’m talking about you being free to see us both as you wish,” says Alex. “What if we could make that happen?”
“I’m not into cheating,” I say, pulling my hand back less gently this time.