Page 52 of Sizzle
I can see Joelle grinning out of the corner of my eye.
“Run it next time,” she says. I almost laugh but I’m too damn nervous.
Why the hell am I nervous about going to see Alex?
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because the last time you went to talk to him, you wound up with your dick in your hand and your come on the floor?
“Anxious to get there, are you?”
“You could say that,” says Joelle.
A few more blocks pass. We’ll be there in just another minute or two, which means I absolutely need to get my head on straight.
Hah. Straight. Jesus Christ.
What am I doing?
I slow down and pull the car over, parking next to the curb on a quiet, well-lit street and shut off the engine.
I can feel Joelle’s eyes on me but I can’t get the words in my head to come out of my mouth, not in any order that makes sense. After a few minutes, she lays a hand on my arm.
“I’m nervous,” she says. That gets my attention. I take that soft hand and lace her fingers with my own.
“You don’t have anything to be nervous about,” I tell her, giving those fingers a gentle squeeze. “It’s just me. And Alex. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, for even a second, you let me know and I’ll take you home. Or he’ll take you home, if I do something wrong.”
She’s got this look in her eyes that I can’t decipher. Amusement?
“Why’s that funny?”
“If I’m not supposed to be nervous then neither are you,” she says. “And I tell you what—I’ll make you the same deal. If you get too uncomfortable tonight, you just tell us and me or Alex will get you out of there.”
At that, I have to laugh.
“It’s my house,” I say. “I mean… I guess technically it’s Alex’s house.”
“Is that what’s bothering you? You think this… conversation is going to affect your friendship with him? Because I have to tell you,” she says, suddenly vehement, “I really don’t think it’s going to be a problem.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I say softly.
She tips her head to one side.
“Tell me.”
My stomach is on the verge of revolt because I’m so damn twisted up. But she deserves to know what she’s walking into tonight.
“Something happened,” I say.
“Something?”
“With me… and Alex.”
Her eyes go as round as dinner plates and I drop my gaze to where our fingers intertwine. Maybe it’ll be easier to get the words out if I pretend I’m in confession. It’s basically the same thing at this point—we’re sitting here in the dark, with no one else around, and she’s the only one who can absolve me.
On the other hand, I can’t say I ever wanted to bone my priest.
“The other day I walked in on Alex while he was, uh… Enjoying some time alone.”
I file Joelle’s small gasp away as ‘moments to revisit later’ and continue.