Page 101 of Left on Read

My stomach settled a bit at his reassurance.

I knew River would pick Zane in a heartbeat if he had to choose between us. The last thing I wanted was to cause tension between them.

“And you’re good for him, but you’re stringing him along.”

“I am?” I wet my dry lips.

He shot me a pointed look. “You are. Either that, or you’re as oblivious as he is.”

“I don’t understand.”

“For a smart guy, you can be a bit dense sometimes.” He smirked. “It’s simple. River is looking for forever. You said you aren’t. Is it fair to him to keep going like this if you want different things?”

River was looking for forever?

“Your face is saying you didn’t know that’s what he wants,” Zane said.

“I had no idea. We talked about what we were looking for when we first got to know each other, but he said he was done with online dating.”

“Online dating, yes. Dating, no.” Zane’s features softened. “The thing you need to understand about my brother is that when he cares about someone, he cares hard. He’ll do anything for his chosen family, even if it hurts him. Right now, you’re hurting him by not letting him find what he’s always wanted. What he needs.”

“I don’t mean to,” I said softly.

Zane’s words weren’t anything I hadn’t thought myself. But what he didn’t know was that I wasn’t stringing River along. I was waiting for him to end things, not the other way around.

“I know, and that’s why we’re having this conversation. If I didn’t think you care about him as much as he does about you, I’d have told Riv to forget about you months ago.”

I swallowed at the not-so-subtle reminder of how precarious my position was.

“I can’t tell you what to do, and I won’t say anything to Riv as long as you treat him right. But.” He paused, emphasizing his next point. “You need to figure out what you want from him. Do you want to be his boyfriend? Or his friend? Because this in-between shit is going to wreck him, and I’m the one who’ll have to pick up the pieces of whatever is left of his heart when this ends.”

“He’ll be wrecked if we stop being friends?” I repeated dumbly.

“You really don’t get it, do you?”

I glanced at the door.

“Noah is distracting him so we can have this talk,” Zane said. “He won’t hear anything.”

I resisted the urge to fidget with my sleeves.

“You’ve spent all this time with him, and you still don’t understand how he’s wired? He doesn’t do casual. He can’t. He’s attached to you. It’s going to crush him when this ends.”

“I care about him too. A lot.”

“I know. And that’s the only reason I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt and not telling you to stay the hell away from him.” Zane’s tone was congenial, and that was scarier than when he’d full-on threatened to kill me if I ever hurt River the first time I hung out with him.

“Can I ask you something?” I hoped I wasn’t poking the bear, but he seemed like he was open to talking, and this had been bothering me since it happened.

He nodded.

“Last weekend, when we were hanging out, River was different. Really subdued and sad.”

Zane stiffened but didn’t make any indication that he wanted me to shut up.

“I asked him what was wrong a few times, and he kept saying he was tired. I know there’s more to it, but I didn’t want to push him when he was already so down.”

“Last weekend was the anniversary of our mother’s death.”