Page 106 of Left on Read
“I figured.” I leaned back against the wall. “Am I going to be mad if I ask what it is?”
“Depends.”
“I’m not going to break up with him.”
“Can’t break up with someone you’re not dating.”
I pinched his thigh. “You know what I mean.”
He slapped my hand away as I tried to pinch him again. “I told him about Mom and Dad. About after we moved here. Just filled in some blanks for him.”
“Oh.”
“I figured he should know everything since he’s sticking around.”
“For now,” I mumbled. “Dammit. Why did Nick have to bring this up now? I’m in work mode, not think about my life mode.”
Zane patted my knee. “Come on.”
Wordlessly, I followed him to the back door and out behind the building.
“Do you want to talk about this now or wait until later?” Zane asked.
“Now.” I sighed.
The seed had been planted, and I wouldn’t be able to think about anything else, especially not my job, until I talked everything out with my brother. “Hit me.”
“You’re not happy.” He pinned me with a pointed look. “And don’t try to bullshit me and say everything’s fine. I know you. You’re not happy.”
I huffed out a sigh as all the tension in my body bled out. I’d been ready to fight with Zane, to get mad at him for interfering, but he was just trying to help. He’d never do anything to hurt or sabotage me.
“I’m not not happy.” I scuffed the toes of my sneakers against the ground.
“You’re in love with him.”
“What?” I swung my gaze to him. He was completely serious. “I am?”
He nodded.
I paused to consider the possibility. Zane wouldn’t say it if he didn’t think it was true.
I already knew I liked Hayden and had romantic feelings for him, but did I love him?
“How did you know you loved Noah?” I asked. Out of the two of us, Zane was the only person who’d ever been in love.
“It wasn’t some out-of-the-blue thing. But what really tipped things was when I could finally admit to myself that his happiness was more important to me than my own. Seeing him happy makes me happy. I wanted to be the reason he smiled, want to always see him smile.”
“But I’m like that with all my friends. I always want the people I care about to be happy.”
He shot me a look that said he knew I was being contrary on purpose.
“Fucking awesome.” I sagged against the wall. “I fell in love with my fuck buddy.” I dropped my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes closed. “Of course I did.”
Zane kicked my shin.
“Ow.” I rubbed my leg and scowled at him. “That actually hurt.”
“I know. I’m not going to let you beat yourself up over something you can’t control. You didn’t do anything wrong.”