Page 29 of Left on Read
Zane always knew how to help me focus on the important things and shut out all the noise in my head that constantly made me question myself.
“Thanks.” I looked at my friends in turn. “I feel better.”
“Ready to shake your booty? Cause you’re up next,” Nick said.
“All good.” I pasted on a smile and stood. “Gotta get in the zone.”
Zane’s look said he knew I wasn’t as okay as I was pretending to be, but he didn’t call me on it.
I’d be fine. I just needed tonight to be over so I could go home and decompress with some tunes and recenter myself.
6
HAYDEN
River’s laughter knocked me out of the daze I’d fallen into.
Right, we were watching a comedy special.
“Oh my fucking god,” River pressed his knee against mine, his eyes on my laptop screen where it sat on the coffee table in front of us. “Can you imagine?”
“Crazy,” I said, hoping that would cover whatever the comedian had said.
“So crazy,” he agreed, flashing me a quick grin and returning his attention to the laptop.
He didn’t move his thigh from where it was still pressed against mine.
I was more confused than a cat at a laser show. This was the second evening in a row River and I had hung out together, and that was after a week of constant messaging on the app.
On Friday, I’d casually mentioned I had a list of projects around the house I’d been putting off. Just small things like installing a dimmer switch in the bathroom and fixing some scratches in my flooring. Nothing big, but things that were beyond my skill set.
River offered to come over after he woke up to help me with them, and after we finished my entire list, we ordered pizza, and I’d driven him to the club for his shift.
Everything about the evening screamed ‘date’ except for the fact that River didn’t make a move. He flirted, but it was subtle, and he was getting more physically affectionate, like touching my back as he passed me or clapping my shoulder when I made a joke. Just little things that could be chalked up to him just being an outwardly friendly and warm person.
I wasn’t like that, and it took me a long time to get comfortable enough with someone to initiate any sort of physical touch. But that wasn’t everyone, and I had no idea if that was River’s default, or if it was him flirting.
Another loud laugh jolted me back to reality. I focused on the screen and tried to follow along with what the comedian was saying, but I’d missed enough that I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Duuuuuude,” River guffawed, pressing his leg against mine a bit harder. “That sounds like John.”
“John?” I asked reflexively.
Crap. Would he realize I wasn’t paying attention and was lost in la-la land?
“A buddy of mine. He’s crazy like that. I swear that guy has no fear response. I’ve seen him jump off the second floor of a house because he thought it would be faster than the stairs. And the amount of banisters he’s fallen off is actually a bit worrisome. His ratio sucks.”
“Ratio?”
“Yeah, of him falling on his ass to actually making it to the bottom.”
“Sounds like a guy my friend Ryan knows. Same name too. Johnny. I’ve only met him a few times, but he’s not the brightest crayon in the box. A really nice guy,” I added quickly so it didn’t sound like I was judging him based solely on his misadventures. “But he doesn’t think things through.”
“You said your friend’s name is Ryan?” River looked at me, his brown eyes even more intense than usual.
One thing about River that had taken a bit of time to get used to was how he made eye contact when he talked with someone. He didn’t just look at you; he stared into your eyes like he was looking right into your soul. It wasn’t creepy or an intimidation tactic or anything, he just had a knack for making people feel like they were the center of his world and the only thing he wanted to focus on.
Or at least that was how he made me feel. Which didn’t help with my ‘what the fuck are we doing?’ confusion.