Page 40 of Left on Read
“I like talking with you too,” he said, his voice breathy and strained. “And I care about you too.”
“So, where does this leave us?” My chest tightened with anxiety.
“I guess that depends on what you want.”
I was about to tell him I wanted to keep talking and go out some more, maybe make things a thing, but stopped. This sounded eerily similar to when he’d deflect my questions to figure out where I stood on something before he’d tell me his thoughts or opinions.
That was fine when we were talking about what movies we like or if pineapple belongs on pizza, but not when we were figuring out where we stood with each other.
“Why did you sign up for Singles?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“What was your endgame? You had casual or one-time checked off on your profile. Is that what you’re looking for?”
I’d left that part blank because it hadn’t mattered at the time, but I would have marked long-term if I’d set up a real profile.
“Yes,” he said quickly, his voice going back to normal. “I’m kinda over dating.”
My heart fell.
“I don’t have a lot of free time and just don’t have the mental or emotional bandwidth for a relationship right now.”
“Makes sense,” I said lightly. Had that come out disappointed? I hoped not. It wasn’t Hayden’s fault we were looking for different things. “So, like a casual boyfriend or?—”
“A friends with benefits,” he cut in. “I told my friend Ryan that I signed up hoping to meet a hot guy who’d blow my back out and rock my world. Apparently those were my exact words.”
“Sounds like a good time.”
“I’m hoping it will be.”
“Have you found that guy?” Shit, had that come out sharper than usual?
“Not yet.”
“I’m not good with subtle, so I’m just gonna come right out and ask if I’d be reading the room wrong if I said I wanted to hang out again?”
“As friends?”
“With or without benefits.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I had fun this weekend. I’d like to keep hanging out, but it can be as whatever you want.”
“What do you want?”
“To blow your back out and rock your world.”
He made a choking sound and started coughing so loudly I had to pull the phone from my ear.
“Are you okay?” I asked when he’d gotten it under control. “Sorry if that wasn’t cool to say?—”
“It’s fine,” he croaked. “I just wasn’t expecting that.”
“How about we make plans and just see where things go?” I suggested.
“Yeah, okay.”