Page 34 of Dad Next Door
“Yeah. It sucks because Kim is one of my oldest friends. I’ve known her since college, but her fiancé works with Simon, so they were invited too.”
Quinn shot me an understanding look.
“The one thing no one ever talks about after divorce is how you lose your entire support system. At least I did. Most of our friends were through Simon’s million connections, so they all took his side when he left me. The ones who still talk to me or include me in stuff aren’t on my side. They’re neutral. So I can’t talk to any of them about anything because they’re still friends with him too. And I can never get a break from the Simon and Jace show. I know I sound like a big baby, but it really hurts that everyone acts like I don’t have the right to be upset that my husband left me after fourteen years together for the man he cheated on me with. It’s like I’m not allowed to be mad or not want to see him because it’s more convenient for everyone to pretend like everything is all hunky-dory.”
“That sounds incredibly lonely.”
“It is.” I sighed. “But what can I do? Starting over as an adult is so hard. Making new friends when you’re a single parent is almost impossible unless you connect through your kids. But then you run into the issue that a lot of couples don’t really want to be friends with someone who’s single. And most parent groups, especially ones for single parents, are for mothers. And I get it. Single moms need a safe space for them and their kids, but it would be nice if there were equivalents for dads.”
“My dad said the same thing about his time as a single parent. He used to ask where his village was.”
“Village?”
“Yeah, you know the saying, ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ We lived with my grandparents when I was really young, but he raised me alone from five until I was fifteen. I watched him work his ass off to make sure we had what we needed and a little of what we wanted, but the world isn’t made for single people or families that don’t have two parents.”
“That’s the hardest part of solo parenting. I share custody of Leo with Simon, but he doesn’t do anything to actually raise or take care of him. I’m still the one who schedules his doctor’s appointments and goes to parent-teacher interviews. I still do almost all the parenting, but only get to see my son half of the time.”
Quinn pressed the side of his foot against mine. The gentle touch grounded me, stopping the anger that was threatening to spill over.
“I just wish Simon would step up and be a parent. He fought me for half custody, but it feels like he only did it because he knew it would hurt me, not because he wanted the time with our son. I know having two parents in his life is what’s best for Leo, but I worry about how this will affect him in the future. How moving between houses and never having the stability that kids whose parents aren’t divorced have. How he has one parent who continuously lets him down, which leaves me to try and compensate for everything he doesn’t get at the other house. But I’m only one person. I can’t be his parent, his playmate, and his friend, so it feels like I’m just constantly messing up and not properly filling any of those roles.”
I snapped my mouth shut. I hadn’t meant for all that to come out.
“I know there’s nothing I can say that can make your situation better, but as a kid who grew up with one parent, he sees everything. He sees how Simon acts and how you do. He knows who his real parent is, and he’ll remember all of it when he’s older and can decide which parent he wants in his life.”
“Yeah.” I sighed and absentmindedly rubbed my foot against his.
“You’re doing a good job with him, Tris. He’s a good kid. I know it’s your instinct to worry about everything, but don’t sell yourself short. You’re a good dad. The fact that you worry so much and do everything you can for him proves that.”
I blinked a few times, my eyes watering. “Thanks. I don’t hear that very often.”
“I’ll tell you whenever you need to hear it, because it’s the truth.”
Drawing in a shaky breath, I shot him a small smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to kill the mood.”
“You didn’t.” He smiled. “If you can’t be real with your friends, then who can you be real with?”
“True. I keep having to remind myself that it’s okay to have feelings and express them.” I grinned sardonically. “That wasn’t allowed when I was married.”
“Well, it’s not only allowed, but encouraged, with me. And I really hate your ex. Every time you tell me something new about him, it just adds to the list of all the reasons he’s a giant douchenozzle.”
I laughed, my bad mood lifting. “Douchenozzle really is the perfect way to describe him.” I groaned dramatically and dropped my face in my hands. “Next weekend is going to suck so hard, and not in a good way. Not only do I have to see Simon and Jace being the perfect couple, but I also have to call Kim this week and tell her I don’t have a plus one, even though I’ve had over a year to find one. That’s going to mess with her seating plans and her catering and cause all sorts of stress the week before her big day. All because I can’t find a date.”
“I’ll be your date.”
I snapped my head up. Quinn was grinning mischievously. “What?”
“I’ll go with you as your date. Think about how crazy it will drive Simon if you show up with your own boy toy.”
A laugh bubbled out of my chest. “You’d do that?”
“In a heartbeat.” His smile shifted to that smirky one that stirred some decidedly more-than-friendly feelings in me. “It’ll be hilarious. And it’ll give you someone there who’s only on your side. Plus, think of all the ways we can troll him.”
“Everyone will think you’re queer if you go with me.”
“So what?” He shrugged. “Most of the people in my life are queer. I’d be a giant asshole if people assuming I was too got my panties in a bunch.”
“Are you sure you want to?” I had to ask. “I mean, it would be awesome if you did, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to or anything.”