Page 61 of Dad Next Door
“Sounds like it’s time to stop.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“What are you going to do about your regulars?”
“Probably keep meeting with them until I figure everything out. I only have three left now. And they’re companionship arrangements. Still risky, but not illegal, since no sex acts are being exchanged.”
“Are you okay with quitting?”
“Mostly. It’s weird to think that safety net will be gone if I need quick cash again, but the double life part of it is getting to be too much. I’m always lying to everyone, and it’s hard to get close to people when I have to always watch what I say. And it’s not just dating, but friendships too.”
“Yeah, our type of work adds layers of complication to things,” I said, my mind wandering to Tristan and how he really didn’t seem to care about my online work or my time in porn.
Jesse shot me a scrutinizing look.
“What?”
“You’re good at masking, bro, but I know you. Something’s going on, and it has nothing to do with work. At least not contracting.”
Now it was my turn to pick at my beer label. “I kinda sorta started dating someone?”
“Was that a question or a statement?” He tipped his head back and drained what was left of his beer.
“Statement. Mostly. It’s complicated.”
“It always is. You wanna talk about it?”
I nodded. Jesse was one of the few people who’d understand what I was going through.
He made a go ahead motion with his hand.
“My neighbor and I kind of hooked up over the weekend.”
“Which neighbor?”
“That one.” I pointed toward Tristan’s house.
“The single dad?” he asked slowly.
“Yep.”
“Now I get the confusion.” He smirked.
“Believe it or not, the fact that he’s a man isn’t what’s tripping me up.” I finished my drink. “Another?”
He nodded and handed me his empty bottle.
“I was twenty-two the last time I dated someone.” I stood and went to the fridge to get refills. “Back when I was in the city. My entire life revolved around making it. Every audition or call-back was the be-all and end-all of my world, so our relationship was low on my priority list, even though I had real feelings for her. She was an actor too, so it worked until it didn’t. But Tris is…an adult.”
Jesse snickered.
I closed the fridge door and popped the tops off with the opener. “Shut up. You know what I mean. He’s a veterinarian and a father. He owns his house. He’s a fully functioning adult who’s doing something with his life. I’m a guy who shows his dick on the internet and is cosplaying as a businessman.”
“You’re a businessman. Full stop.” He shot me a hard look. “You’ve been running a successful content creation business for almost seven years, and through it, you’ve built enough equity to buy this place and finance your next career. You’re not cosplaying anything. That’s your ADHD talking.”
I made a face. Jesse was one of the first people I’d fully dropped my mask for, and he wasn’t shy about calling me out when I let my anxiety brain take over.
“I can’t help it.”