Page 80 of Dad Next Door
“He said it’s because he didn’t want me to feel pressured, but I think it’s more that he doesn’t know how to advocate for himself. He doesn’t talk much about what life was like for him before he moved here, but he’s said enough that I know he hasn’t had it easy. And he might come off as cocky and combative, but he’s just a scared kid trying to figure out who he is.”
“You can’t blame yourself for not knowing about his training. And it sounds like he doesn’t blame you either.”
“I know. But I still feel bad. He’s been looking for full-time work for longer than I’ve known him. I wish I could have hired him sooner, but I only had so much I could spend on salaries when I started.”
“You can only do so much. I’m sure he understands.”
“I hope so. It’s so crazy how well things are going.” He fiddled with his watch, spinning the number dial absently. “I’ve got almost six months of contracts lined up, and I’m already in a place where I can expand my crew. I thought it would take months, if not years, to get to this point.” He spun the dial on his watch faster, his gaze fixed on a point in the distance.
I knew that look. He called it his dissociative stare.
“Quinn?”
“Sorry.” He shook his head and blinked, which was his way of snapping himself out of his dissociative state. “It’s just so surreal to go from being a guy who shows his junk on the internet to being responsible for the livelihoods of a crew of my friends. A part of me was convinced I’d fail.”
I scooped up more of the mac and cheese. I’d eaten so fast I was almost finished. “You were? Why?”
“Because I have impostor syndrome and a voice in my head that constantly tells me I’m a failure and anything good that happens to me is temporary.” He stopped playing with his watch. “I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Most of the success in my life has nothing to do with me and everything to do with timing. I got into the adult industry when it was becoming normalized and models could become influencers. I started my online work just before the industry took off, so I already had a solid base when the platforms exploded with an influx of models. And now I’m starting my contracting business right as we’re in a housing crisis and a manufactured labor shortage. And my dad is a contractor, so I have connections through him. None of my success is because of me.”
“Quinn.”
He looked at me.
“I know your ADHD makes you worry about things, but you need to look at the full picture. You might have good timing and great connections, but so do most people who are successful. And it doesn’t matter how many connections you have if you don’t put in the work and utilize them. Those things are just the building blocks to success, not the whole recipe.”
He smiled. “Thanks, Tris. I really needed to hear that. Being an adult is weird.”
“It really is.” I stabbed the last few pieces of macaroni on my plate. “I miss the days when I could make a blanket fort and hide from the world.”
“Me too.” He motioned to my plate. “Do you want more?”
“I’m done.” I patted my stomach. “That was really good.”
“I’m glad you liked it.” He gathered my plate and cutlery.
“I can clean up.”
“Nope, you worked all day. I’ve got it.”
“Not gonna lie,” I said as Quinn moved around my kitchen. “Seeing a man clean up is one of my kinks.”
He laughed. “I follow a few creators on TikTok whose entire channels are just them cleaning. One guy does these deep-cleaning videos that are like crack to me. He puts on some earbuds and just cleans. No posing, no sexy outfit. Just a regular guy scrubbing and steam cleaning his apartment and ignoring the camera.”
“I could watch that for hours.”
“I usually do. Time blindness and executive dysfunction are super fun when you’ve got deadlines looming.”
I finished my water and joined him in the kitchen.
He looked toward where all the pets except Maple were waiting in the doorway to the kitchen. “I know they’re waiting for the okay to come in, but it’s a little freaky seeing them lined up like a little pet army while you’re cooking or eating. I’m going to have to get some training secrets from you. My parent’s dog is good about not begging, but she likes to test boundaries.”
Chuckling, I put my glass in the dishwasher. “How do you mean?” I waved the pets in.
“She’s not allowed in the kitchen when there’s food out, so she lays in the doorway and puts her nose right on the threshold. Every once in a while, she’ll sneak a paw over the line and creep forward, like she thinks we won’t see her if she moves slow enough.” He hung up the dish towel he’d been using, then stepped closer until our chests were brushing. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I said, my voice breathy.
He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against my lips. I grabbed his waist to steady myself as he deepened the kiss, his hard body flush against mine.