Page 87 of Poison and Wine
Shaking his head, he closed the door behind him. “But you were so adamant about going at breakfast this morning.”
“I know. I was.”
“So what changed your mind?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
He crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Try me.”
“This dress…it makes me feel guilty about leaving the order. I feel like I’ve lost myself.” I swallowed down the tears threatening to fall. “I feel like I’ve lost my faith.”
Seamus apprised me silently. After a few moments passed, he stepped towards me. “The vast majority of Catholics don’t hold positions in the clergy. Does that mean their faith and their works matter less than those of nuns and priests?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Then why do you doubt the commitment to your faith simply because your life has changed?”
I sighed exasperatedly “I don’t know–I just do.”
“A wise person once said that the love of a man and woman is holy. And that just because you love a man, it doesn’t mean you love God less.” At what must’ve been my shock about him alluding to me loving Callum, he smiled. “I said that just to show you that marriage can be honorable.”
“It’s a very wise sentiment.”
“Aye, I thought as much.”
“Who was it that said it?”
Seamus winked at me. “Mother Superior in The Sound of Music.”
A laugh burst from my lips. “I thought it sounded familiar.”
“I imagined you might appreciate the reference.”
“I’m surprised you know it.”
“It was one of my late wife’s favorite movies.”
My heart ached for the anguish in his eyes. “I’m very sorry for your loss. And for the loss of your son,” I said.
“Thank you, lass. I didn’t tell you all of that to make you sad.”
“I know. And you didn’t.”
“Did you at least change your mind about seeing a marriage as honorable as being a nun?”
“Yes, I can see it as honorable.” I motioned to my dress. “But this?”
With a chuckle, Seamus said, “That dress is sin.”
I rolled my eyes. “I knew it.”
“But it’s a necessary sin.”
“I don’t think I was schooled on that in my classes at the order.”
As a smirk curved on his lips, Seamus asked, “Are you wearing that dress to entice me?”
A shriek of horror escaped my lips. “Absolutely not!”