Page 68 of Hidden Empire
“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea,” he says, voice soft.
“You’re starting to scare me a bit,” I admit. “Please just tell me.”
His next sigh is more like a groan.
“In our family, second sons are guards to the heir. My job is to keep Dmitri alive, even if it means that I die in the process. It’s our oldest and most important tradition, and I take it very seriously. They pity me for it.”
Well, as horrible as Ivan dying for any reason would be, it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. My brothers would protect each other with their lives as well. Granted, the order of birth deciding who should die first is a bit fucked up.
“That isn’t so bad,” I reply, trying not to cringe at myself. “Why would they pity you? Everyone has traditions?—”
“Jade, it’s…” Ivan cuts himself off, shaking his head. “It’s hard to explain this to you without saying the wrong thing.”
“Take your time, I won’t run away,” I swear, drawing an X over my heart.
Finished with stalling, Ivan leans against the building wall. “It’s a very serious guard position. My life is dedicated to Dmitri’s survival. I won’t marry, I won’t ever have kids, and I’ll stay by his side until one or both of us are dead. I don’t go out, I don’t drink or do drugs, and I never will. They see my life as meaningless like I’m a living shield. That’s why they pity me, Jade. I’d really appreciate it if you could refrain from doing the same.”
“Oh, Ivan,” I murmur, reaching for his hand to squeeze. “I could never pity you.”
“No?” he asks, almost in disbelief.
“No.”
It’s a lot, I can’t lie. Hard to imagine being okay with a life without so many things. But who am I to judge their family? I don’t know their story, and if Ivan says he’s okay with it, I should respect him enough to believe him.
“You could run away at any time, couldn’t you? Give yourself a new identity and never be seen again?” I ask, trying to paint a picture of my point. “If you truly hated the hand you were dealt, you could throw away the deck.”
“Yes, I could leave,” he acknowledges. “But I never would.”
“I know you wouldn’t,” I agree, nodding. “That’s my whole point. They’re wasting their pity on a man who has a choice.”
Warily, his lips tip to one side. “I’m glad you think so.”
“Yeah? Because I’m your friend, and you care about my opinion?”
“Because I’m not really Dmitri’s guard anymore, Jade. I’m yours.”
“W-what?”
If I had water in my mouth, it would surely be dripping down his face right now. I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from spitting out every drop.
“When the heir marries, the second son becomes his wife’s protector. My priority shifts from him to you.”
“B-but we’re not married,” I stammer, my heart beginning to pick up its beat.
“Dmitri isn’t taking any risks,” Ivan admits with a shrug. “My priority has changed since he had me switch into knives. I’m in a swimming slash water survival course now too since it’s underneath the gym at the time you’re there for fight training. I eat in the cafeteria only to keep an eye on you.”
“Wow,” I blurt, lost for all other words.
“Dmitri will be Pakhan, and that means who he chooses for his wife is the only person more important to keep alive than he is.”
“How can I be more important?” I gape at him. “He’s the leader.”
“And wives carry heirs,” Ivan points out. “If you’re married to Dmitri, it is to be assumed that you could be pregnant at any time with the future Pakhan.”
“He could just get someone else pregnant,” I protest, despite the disgusting taste the words leave in my mouth.
Ivan shakes his head. “A grieving Pakhan is a dangerous one, chances are he would fixate on revenge and loss for far too long that creating an heir wouldn’t happen.”