Page 37 of Commit

I choke back a laugh.

I love how Remi does that, how she can surprise me with her humor.

I’m tired of being at war with her. I’m tired of hiding my feelings and trying to prove to her how much I don’t care that she’s not in my life. Because I do care, and I can’t imagine a life where we’re not together.

I don’t fully understand all the reasons she walked away from us, but I’m beginning to think that it had less to do with me and more to do with her commitment issues. Or maybe that’s just what I want to believe so I don’t feel so rejected.

We ride back to the hotel in silence—not the kind that comes from years of comfort, or even the kind that comes from Tessa’s gag order. It’s a sad silence, stemming from hurt and insecurities.

We step into the hotel elevator, watching our reflection in the shiny metal as the doors slowly close. It’s just the two of us, standing on opposite sides. The strain between us suffocates me. Any second, my chest will burst open from the tightness. My eyes dart to Remi, and as if she knows I’m watching her, she slowly peeks at me through dark lashes. She’s the woman who holds my heart. The woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Why does she keep fighting it?

I don’t want to fight it anymore.

I step toward Remi, pulling her into my arms. Her eyes go wide as my mouth comes down on hers, but she immediately softens in my arms. Like muscle memory, our lips move together in a frenzy of passion and desperation. I kiss her with all the love I have inside me. I want her to know that she’s safe with me, that I would never hurt her. I’m diving headfirst into the fire, not caring if I get burned. We stumble as the elevator comes to a stop and opens, but neither of us breaks the kiss. Instead, I press her against the wall as the door closes again. Why not? I might as well go all in with this kiss. In the history of time, there have been many elevator kisses, but I guarantee that none of them have ever been as good as this one.

The elevator dings again, and I pull back slightly, placing my hands on her cheeks.

“Rem?” I whisper.

She shakes her head. “I can’t.”

“Let me love you.”

“You can’t love me.” A tear trickles down her cheek, colliding with my thumb.

The door opens.

“I’m sorry, Matt.” She pushes hard on my chest and escapes out the elevator, leaving me standing there.

She’s like water in my hands. The more I try to keep her, the faster she slips through my fingers.

CHAPTER 22

REMI

My phone buzzes. I lie there for a moment, debating whether or not I want to see who messaged me. What if it’s Matt saying that he’s right outside my bedroom door, waiting to kiss me again? If his kiss is a repeat of the elevator fiasco, then I’m all in. A person only has so much willpower.

Since it’s likely not Matt, I lift my head and read the screen.

Chelsea: So how did it go with Matt today?

I grimace.

Remi: We just kissed/made out in the elevator.

Chelsea: What?

Chelsea: I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist his charms.

I move to a sitting position, feeling like I can defend myself better and more efficiently if I’m upright.

Remi: Hey, hey, hey. Let’s not jump to conclusions. He’s the one that kissed me.

Chelsea: Did you kiss him back?

My hands may have roamed over his back. My fingers might have skimmed across the base of his neck. At one point, my leg could have lifted and wrapped around him. But who’s keeping track of all that? They’re just technicalities.

Remi: I didn’t stand there like a statue if that’s what you’re asking.