Page 8 of Love Hazard
I truly had the best upbringing.
My throat swelled as I touched the crown with my fingertips.It was something you’d get from Amazon or another retailer: plastic with fake,silver-framed bright blue diamonds.
With shaking hands, I reached for the note tucked inside.
Spoiled princesses always get crowns, even if they’refake. Should you put yours on? BTW, thanks so much for the glitter, I’ll use itwisely.
I tossed the card like it was cursed.
“Take a few breaths,” I said out loud. “Just a few deepbreaths.” It was like I was my own therapist. How dare he take something sopersonal and turn it into something I should be offended by,all for having an amazing great-grandma and family?
I’d just graduated and celebrated her life, and he sent methis?
I looked over my shoulder at the wall behind me.
It was filled with pictures of me and Great-Grandma Nadine.I was young, but my parents always took pictures when I snuck into her room andopened her makeup drawer. Her lipstick always smelled like vanilla, and she hadthe tips of the tubes looking funny because of the way she put it on.
It was upside down.
Most people put on lipstick the normal way, where you wentin and pressed the tip against your upper lip, facing the lower part downward.She did it the opposite way, and her reasoning made no sense. Weirdly enough,the tip of that lipstick never fell off; it just existed in this weird mold ofa thin tower pointing at the bottom of her lip.
“Honey,” she’d said one day after sharing some of herEstee Lauder with me while I watched her do her makeup in her powder room asshe sat on her light blue stool, looking in her small mirror. “One day, you’llunderstand that it doesn’t matter how you put on lipstick or eyeshadow or ifyou wear any makeup at all. You do it for you first, always first.” She smiledat herself as she rubbed her lips together. “And second? Oh, honey, you do itfor your partner. For that person in your life. You want to know why I put onlipstick this way?”
I nodded, in complete awe of her strawberry-red lips andperfect pink blush. Even the blond curls on her head didn’t move as she brushedthrough them.
“You put on lipstick the way you want to live life,against others, upside down, in chaos. You live life because it’s meant to belived and experienced. You don’t go with the norm—there’s no fun in that. Youwear your heels proudly, your sneakers with honor, and you put on lipstickhowever the heck you please.
“At the end of the day, you become a person who goesagainst the grain, someone who can flip her lipstick upside down, put it on,and smile. Life is short. Chaos is welcome because it brings in so manyfactors. And, honey, my only goal for you is to know that no matter what pathit takes you on—you can pave your own way and do itwith authority. My lipstick proves that time and time again.”
She smiled down at the lipstick with its thin,upside-down tip. “Do you know I’ve never had a lipstick wear out or break byputting it on this way?” She showed me the small black container, her pinknails shining against it. “I think it’s the universe telling me that maybe allof us can do things our own way. It’s just sometimes so much easier to followthe crowd. Be your own crowd.” She looked down at me and pinched my cheek.“Wear lipstick however you want. Now, put it on.”
I grabbed the lipstick and, with shaking hands, twistedit across my lips. Then I turned it upside down just like she did and smackedmy lips together because, if anyone had it right...
It was Great-Grandma Nadine.
I dropped the crown to the floor and stood. “How dare you?”
He wasn’t there to hear me, but I heard the lawnmower so,with my pajamas still on—little pink Hello Kitty shorts and a mismatched greenshirt—I ran outside, my fluffy orange Garfield slippers in place. Maybe laterI’d realize that the Garfield on my left foot was missing an eye, and the oneon the right had no tail, but whatever.
I marched next door, sleep mask pulled up and all—that onewas slightly more embarrassing since it said: I dream of tacos, but Ihad no time to think.
August didn’t even notice me, so the only thing I couldthink to do was throw a Garfield slipper at his face and say, “Sorry.” And tobe clear, I felt bad for one-eyed Garfield, not August.
Never. August.
The slipper hit him in the back ofthe head. He slowly stopped mowing and turned. Why the hell was he sogood-looking, even while sweaty? It was like he’d just oiled himself up and waslike, “Oh, might go to a body-building competition but can’t decide if Idid enough on leg day or carb loaded yet.”
His golden abs seriously had the worst timing as the sunrose and decided to bless him like baby Jesus or Simba from The Lion King,just shining down across all freaking fifteen of them. Okay, there weren’tfifteen, but again, I didn’t care. It was glorious, and I hated him even morefor the crown in that moment. It was sinister, like heknew.
“You.” I pointed with my finger.
He held up his hands. “Is lawn care illegal?”
No, but abs like that should be, you asshole.
“NO!” I roared, then reached for the other slipper and heldit high. “I’ll use it, don’t make me use it, August.”
He raised his toned, muscular, god-likegolden right arm and ran his fingertips through his thick, sweaty hair, pullingit away from his green eyes. “Are you threatening me with Garfield?”