Page 39 of Sing Your Secrets
eleven
Reese
Mani swivels her fork in her pasta dish creating a bite so big that she’ll need to unhinge her jaw to fit it in her mouth.
“Hungry?” I ask with one eyebrow raised.
“It’s the hormones,” she mumbles, stuffing the pasta in her mouth. “I can eat this entire plate and it still won’t be enough. Real talk—am I getting fat? I can’t even tell anymore.”
“Ah,” I shriek with a pretend horrified expression. “Since when do we say the f-word at the table? But no, you’re not. And even if you were, that’s just more Mani to love. Eat up.”
She rolls her eyes and huffs to convey her extra-irritability today. I’m so glad Mani’s finally moved back home, and most days she’s her normal self, but today is a Dragon Day, as Quinn, Noa, Addie and I have dubbed them—behind Mani’s back.
Quinn’s office is right down the block and she might’ve been better company for this lunch. Except, I tried that once and my mom could not behave herself. Quinn’s late mother, Sav, and my mom were good friends. Quinn is still grieving in her own way. My mom, however, likes to talk about Sav in front of her daughter like she didn’t die tragically in a car crash. She thinks that dredging up fond memories is somehow honoring her friend, but Quinn’s not ready. The last weekly lunch with my mother I dragged Quinn to I swear, she nearly left in tears when Big-Mouth told her she was the tan, spitting image of her mama. It takes a lot to cause Quinn to falter but shoving her deceased mother down her throat for an hour straight is enough to break anyone.
“How much longer are you on the hormones?” I ask Mani. She’s been pretty tight-lipped about her medical conditions for the past almost year. All I know is that her lady equipment is “failing”—her words, not mine—and she’s trying to sort it out.
Mani’s bright green eyes sink to half-moons as she drops her fork. “I’m not taking anything anymore. They just linger in your system. I gave up a while ago.”
“On what?”
Mani folds her hands together and taps her lips. “I’ll tell you guys when I’m ready. I just don’t know what to say yet. Is that okay?”
I nod. “With me, yes, but I’m not exactly the smothering type. If you tell me you’re okay,” I duck my head to find her eyes, “I believe you.”
“Thank you. Can you convince Noa to follow suit?”
Ha. Nono can be a little pushy with her care and concern. “How’s home life?”
Noa is living at the estate her fiancé purchased for their sweet little blended family. Mani’s bunking in one of their guest houses until she figures out her next move, but from what I can tell, she’s still pretty paralyzed. I’m not sure what happened in L.A. but it changed her. The hormones changed her. This mystery guy who she won’t talk about changed her.
“Crowded.”
“I’m sorry, is the McMansion on God knows how many acres of land crowded?”
Mani taps her temple. “Mentally.”
I take a small sip of my mimosa then rotate my finger, framing Mani’s face in the air. “This look that you’re wearing…I wore it for a year straight. Did this mystery guy you won’t tell us about…” Trailing off, I lift my eyes in question, hoping she’ll fill in the blank.
“What? Hurt me?” Mani asks.
I lean into the table, my elbows dragging across the wood. “I was going to say cheat on you, but Mani—did he hurt you?” I ask in a hiss. “Are all these up and down emotions a trauma response? I see it all the time in our domestic abuse cases at the—”
Holding out her palms, she scoffs. “No, no,” she says shaking her head. “Nothing like that. It’s just… I left something in L.A. I can’t get back and I need a little time to process. I’m honestly okay. I simply don’t want to talk about it yet.” Her head drops as she studies her scampi dish.
“Okay.” I return to my primavera stuffed chicken, but as I pop a bite of the warm, juicy chicken in my mouth, I feel uncomfortable. This isn’t my Mani today with her colorless flat lips and her sunken-in cheeks. I try to change the topic. “So, Miles slept over last night.”
There it is. Pop.Her eyes light right back up. “Nice. You reached out to him?”
“I drove by The Garage and the poor sucker locked his keys and wallet inside the building. His phone was dead, so I brought him home with me.”
“Aww, like a stray puppy,” Mani teases. “Did you throw him a bone?”
I roll my eyes. “Wow. That’s just bad.”
She snorts. “Sorry, had to. How was he?”
“Cuddly.”