Page 78 of Sing Your Secrets
As a welcoming gesture, I grab the Styrofoam container sitting on the coffee table and offer Joel the last samosa. It’s the least I can do. Luxury bedroom or not, we do commandeer this man’s penthouse weekly. “So, you agree? It doesn’t make me look pathetic to talk to my dad about working with Petey again?”
“Nah,” Joel says as he ruffles my hair annoyingly. He takes a big bite of the airy puff pastry and covers his mouth as he continues, “You know last time I was in New York for work, I saw my ex—Juliana. She’d heard in the rumor mill that Adler and I are engaged. I ran into her at this coffee house, and I’m expecting her to pull out a Chinese throwing star and aim right for my forehead. But instead, she hugs me. Platonically.” He winks at Addie across the room.
“Why?” I furrow my eyebrows at this strange admission.
“Juliana and I broke up because she wanted to get married and have kids. I thought I didn’t want those things…until I found the right girl.” He takes another bite of the samosa and swallows quickly. “Juliana told me she’s now happily married, has a stepson, and she’s pregnant. She got everything she ever wanted.” Joel points across the room to his fiancée. “And so did I. We just had to get out of each other’s way because we weren’t meant to be. Once you’re truly happy, there’s no reason to hate each other anymore. Whatever you guys went through is just part of the journey that got you to where you needed to be.”
The entire room is awkwardly silent as we all just blink at Joel. “What?” he says, holding up his hands. “Guys can have emotional maturity…”
I pat his knee. “I like that sentiment. Anger is heavy. I’m tired of carrying it.”
Joel nods. “Good for you, Pieces.”
“Okay, stop,” Addie growls. “That’s my nickname for Reese. Consider it trademarked. You can’t use it.”
“Oh, ho, ho, sweetheart.” Holding up his left hand, he points to his ring finger. “You’re wearing the diamond. What’s mine is yours…and I get to use all your best friends’ nicknames. Right, Nono?” He glances at Noa who is pulling a strand of cat hair off her tongue as Felices stretches in her lap again. “Hey, aren’t you allergic to cats?”
“Slightly,” Noa says. “But after tonight, I’m going to have to go home and bathe in Benadryl.” She strokes Felices’s furry head anyway.
I proceed to un-pause our episode of Sex and the City. Mani says something before Joel shushes her, claiming he hasn’t seen this episode. He’s met again with a round of judgmental stares, which he ignores. I, however, have nearly every episode memorized, so I pull out my phone.
Me:Do you like Sex and the City?
Miles:… Um, please tell me how I’m supposed to answer that.
Me:Ha. Want to come to girls’ night next week and meet my friends?
Miles: I’m invited?
Me: I can put in a good word.
Miles:I’d love to meet your friends.
Miles:And will tolerate the show.
Me:*winking emoji* Okay, superstar. Go polish your songs. We have a lot of work to do next week.
Miles:Did I say thank you?
Me:Probably, but for what?
Miles:Taking a chance on me. Believing in someone is a choice.
Me:Well, I choose you.
Me:And you’re welcome.
I turn my phone to silent and toss it on the table face down so I’m not that friend, texting all night. I don’t need to be glued to my phone during a night apart from Miles. The paranoia, the questions, the insecurity… It just isn’t there with him. I put my phone away feeling at peace, unworried that he’s throwing our relationship away tonight. I don’t feel the need to check in and show up as if I could prevent something disastrous from happening.
I’m not sure if letting Miles in or letting Petey go was the solution, but I’m more certain than ever that when I fall asleep tonight, for the first time in umpteen years…
I’m only going to dream about one man.