Page 90 of Whistleblower

“Shit,” he grunts and immediately loosens his grip as he brings my foot to his lips and plants soft kisses all over my toes. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I assure him. The “ow” was a warning before he accidentally snapped my foot in half. I knew Linc was very careful around me, but I didn’t know he was strong enough to snap a bone when he was simply lost in thought.

“One thousand, one hundred and eighty-three…possibly eighty-four…depending on how the FBI handles a pending situation.”

I am powerless to control my reaction. My eyes bulge to uncomfortable proportions. My jaw drops, and my mouth dries as I try to stomach the number. “What the fuck?”

Clamping his eyes shut, he grumbles, “Over the course of a decade, Bambi.”

“Still! You’ve killed well over a thousand people?”

“Men,” he says matter-of-factly. “I don’t kill women.”

“PALADIN doesn’t deal with women criminals?”

Linc widens his eyes. “That’s not a PALADIN rule, that’s a personal covenant.”

“That’s oddly…chivalrous of you.”

Linc shakes his head. “Not really. If the target’s a woman, it goes to Cricket. Better they would’ve died at my hands. I don’t play games. Cricket gets emotional during her jobs, and please, I beg you, don’t ask. Let me leave it at that.”

I don’t ask further, respecting his wishes. I wriggle my toes that are still resting gingerly in his hands.

“What are the PALADIN rules?”

He hesitates, but staying true to his promise, he answers. “No family, no side jobs, and no one takes a life without Vesper’s approval.”

“Vesper? Don’t you mean Callen?”

Linc shakes his head. “No. I mean Vesper. I don’t care what Callen thinks. She’s PALADIN’s commanding officer and that’s all I care about. Her word is everything to me. She’s the only person in this world I trust.”

“Oh.” I don’t know why that hurts my feelings. Linc’s known me barely a month, why would he trust me?

“Do you still want to be the girlfriend of a monster?” he asks with a humorless laugh.

“I’m just…”

He looks at me pleadingly. His question was a joke, but he looks afraid I may have a very real answer for him. “You’re what?”

“Sad. I’m sad that there are so many evil people in the world. I’m sad that your job is even necessary. I’m terrified that right now humanity would rather have money and war than peace and love.”

“I know, me too. Except, you’re sad, while I’m angry. I’ve been angry for a really long time.” Suddenly, his expression softens, like he’s enjoying warm sunshine on his face.

“But I’ve been less angry lately.” Flashing him a goofy smile, I pretend to be bewildered and point to my chest. Chuckling, he says, “Of course because of you, Precious.”

“Not too precious, Linc. I can handle it. You. PALADIN. All of it.”

“Okay.” He nods. “No one said you couldn’t.”

“I just don’t want you to worry or see me as some damsel in distress. My life’s been complicated lately but I’m figuring it out, or at least… I’m capable of figuring it out.” I try to sound light-hearted, but Linc’s expression flattens.

“Is that why you didn’t contact me over the past few days? To prove you don’t need me?”

“What?”

“I was gone for four days. I thought I’d hear from you at least once.”

“Well, side-stepping the fact that you could’ve called me too, I was trying to help keep you safe.”