Page 78 of Consumed By Fire
“Leave me alone,” I say as I start toward my bungalow.
He looks sheepish, even wincing. “I’m sorry things had to play out that way.”
“Me too,” I tell him.
“Did the Red get back okay?”
I stop walking. “Trinity. The Red’s name is Trinity.”
He gets another sheepish look, worse this time. “Trinity…yes, of course. I really am sorry. I can’t imagine how it must feel to have feelings for someone you can never be with.” He pushes his fingers into his front pants pockets, digging the toe of his boot into the dirt.
“You should—” I start to say but am interrupted.
“You’re back,” Shadow gushes like she didn’t pull the rug out from underneath me and fuck me over royally. I groan inwardly, but my feelings must show on my face because she adds, “Please don’t hate me. We only did what we did because we care for you and don’t want to see you get hurt…or worse.”
“Save it! There are better ways of doing things. You went about it the wrong way. The sneaky way.”
“Would you have listened if we’d been direct?” she asks, lifting her brows.
“Nope.” I don’t hesitate.
“Well, there you have it,” she adds, snorting air out of her nose. “Be reasonable. This is for the best. You did the right thing by leaving her.”
“I didn’t leave her. She left me.” It physically hurts me that we’re done before there even was a “we.” That’s so fucking sad. I feel hollow inside. Like someone scraped out my insides and left me raw.
“At least one of you was thinking straight,” Shadow says. “The female obviously cared for you.”
“Trinity… Her name is Trinity. Why is that so hard for all of you to get?” I say in a clipped tone. “She’s a shifter, just like us. If you cut her, she will bleed. The blood will look the same as ours. Her pain will be the same.”
“I know that. I get it,” Shadow says in a soft voice that irritates the fuck out of me.
“I need a few days off to decompress,” I tell her.
She frowns. “Is that a good idea? It might help if you kept busy. There are still a few stragglers trying to make it through Sky’s Edge. You could—”
“Um…I think I’ll pass,” I snap.
“The last time I checked, you were hoping to bond with a human so that you could go and work the frontline.” She puts her hands on her hips. “This is an opportunity.”
“Things change. I’m not sure what I want anymore.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t say that. Don’t throw everything away over what—”
“You know, Shadow,” Dagger scratches the side of his head, “it might be a good idea for Octane to take a few days off. He’s had a rough time of it,” he tells her. “Octane needs time to think things through. We don’t want him making any rash decisions.” He glances at me occasionally while he talks.
She looks at Dagger for a few long moments before nodding and looking my way. “Okay,” she sighs, “take a few days. Get your head on straight again. Then come back and get on with your life.”
I was going to go whether she gave me permission or not, but I’m glad we sorted that out. I walk away. I need to rest up. I’ll leave early tomorrow so that I can be at the bank when it opens. I’m going to give Trinity more money than I previously had in mind. I won’t be able to rest until I know that she is properly taken care of financially, if nothing else. I can give her that much. She opened my eyes to so many things. She opened my heart, too. It will kill me to walk away tomorrow, but I’ll do it. If she still wants me to, I’ll force myself to honor her wishes.
Trinity
I’ve been thinking about it, and there is no way I can take Octane’s money. I won’t do it. I’m not a money-grubber.
I’ve always been independent. Well, at least up until recently. I hated having to rely on anyone. It’s time to get back onto my own two feet. I can do it. I’m capable of looking after myself. I stroke my belly. Of looking after my baby, too. Where there is a will, there is a way.
As I excitedly anticipate Octane’s return, a bitter thought creeps in – with his arrival comes the inevitable countdown to our final goodbye. The weight of this impending farewell feels like a dense ball of lead in my stomach. Tomorrow is going to be bittersweet. I will get to see Octane again, but for the very last time. I have this odd mixture of joy and sorrow swirling within me.
My mind works overtime as I make my way down the narrow, dimly lit hallway that leads to Nova’s apartment. I can’t believe how long it’s been since I was last here. Too long. I cut myself off from my friends. It’s been so long that they stopped calling. So long that they even stopped messaging. I can’t blame them.