Page 126 of Never Say Never

"I'm a horrible father."

"Shhhh." Paolo sat on my back, his hands running over my bare skin as he massaged me. "You're not a horrible father, York. You're a single father. It's hard to keep up with everything."

"That's my job. It should be my only job."

"Are you saying you want to be a stay-at-home dad?" he joked. "That can be arranged."

"Gianpaolo."

"Damn, got in trouble," he muttered to himself.

I smiled despite how shit I felt. Paolo had insisted on us having a quiet, relaxing day up until we tucked the girls into bed together. They had taken over his room, not wanting to be in such a big bed. Once they were down, he'd stripped me of my clothes, grabbed a bottle of lotion, and insisted on massaging away my emotions.

Not falling apart in front of the girls out in the hallway had been a feat in and of itself. I'd felt the prickle of tears, the rush of emotions, the devastation of knowing that my head had been so firmly planted up my ass that I had missed something so vital. I hated that. I needed to do better.

"I will do better," I muttered to myself.

"You have me now, remember? This isn't all on you anymore." Paolo paused, his hands stilling on my back. "I want to be here."

My chest tightened. I knew he did. The one thing Paolo had made clear was that he wanted to be a part of our lives. Especially the night he drunkenly stumbled home. Hearing him say he loved me had forced me to confront the truth that I knew I couldn't run away from; he loved me. But he didn't even have to say it. I felt it in every interaction, heard it in the way he supported me. I'd known for a while. However, hearing it still took me apart and made me question everything.

"Stop overthinking," Paolo said as he pressed his bare torso against my back. "I know you are."

"Yeah," I admitted on a sigh. "I am."

"Knock it off. Close your eyes and feel this."

For once, I listened to him. The feeling of his hands gliding over my skin and unbunching my muscles dragged a moan out of me. He did it again, gripping, and squeezing, and rubbing until I felt like I was going to melt into the mattress. With every touch, Paolo siphoned away my worries and anxieties and replaced them with serenity.

"I'm sorry I was right," Paolo said. "I really didn't want to be, but that woman gave me bad vibes from the day I met her."

I sighed. "I can't even argue with you. Seriously, I should have known better."

"How could you know? She was a different person with you."

Paolo kissed my ear, my cheek, my jaw. Every little peck that peppered my face made me want to sink into the bed even more. Just holding onto him felt good. He threaded his fingers through mine, they locked, and he shifted so he had access to my mouth. The moment he was close enough, he kissed me. A moan slipped from my lips. I raised my hips, pressing against him.

"Do you need more than a massage?" Paolo whispered.

I nodded. "Yes."

"Turn over."

As soon as he released my hand, I wanted it back. I did as he said and shifted in bed until I was on my back. Paolo stripped off the sweats he'd been wearing. Well, the ones that he'd stolen from me. I liked seeing him in my clothes. When he was naked, I stared at his heavy cock. The way it weighed between his thighs only semi-hard was enticing.

"Wait," I said. "Let me taste you."

Gianpaolo stopped with the bottle of lube in his hand. "Really?"

"Yeah. I've been studying."

He whistled. "Leave it to my boss to study the art of the blow job."

Paolo hopped into bed, bounced, and took my spot. I shook my head, moving between his thighs as he settled back. Leaning down, I traced my tongue up the side of his cock, and he groaned.

"I don't even care if you're still learning. The minute your tongue hits my dick, I lose it."

That made stupid little butterflies flutter in my belly. I opened my mouth, wrapped my lips around his length, and sank down. Heat swirled around my mouth as he snapped his hips up, and I groaned. Paolo grabbed my free hand and held it once more, making me turn into a puddle all over again. His other hand pushed into my hair, nails scraping over my scalp as I remembered the videos I'd watched. I lifted up and down, sucking my cheeks in as I went.