Page 140 of Never Say Never

"Surely, you're going to want to return to your job. Are you moving out? What are you doing with my brother?"

I saw the tenseness in his jaw, the way he held himself so stiffly. Part of me wanted to tell him it was none of his business what I did with Gianpaolo, but I wasn't crazy. This was more than a surface level question. Benito was probably trying to decide what to do with me, if he needed to make me disappear or not.

"I plan to speak to him when he wakes up and is doing better. Until then, I'm not going anywhere. He saved my life. Our girls’ lives. I can't, no, I won't disappear on him."

Benito looked me up and down. Slowly, he nodded. "I'll go and say hello."

We parted ways, but for some reason, I felt like I could breathe after that interaction. Things were already rough. Hunter had been arrested, Shelly was dead. The people in my life I thought I could trust were gone, and the one man I'd treated horribly, the one who had been a criminal all along treated me like a king. How was that for a fucked up twist of fate?

I walked into the living room and stopped short. There were people there. I recognized Tex and Ash from their files, and of course, Harlow. Although, he looked different, bouncing a baby in his arms. Not as menacing. Even though I'd just seen him hold up a human head a week ago.

Everyone stopped and stared at me. I felt the tension in the room, weighing on me so heavily, I felt like I would be slammed through the floor to the one below.

"You must be York," Ash said as he stood up and walked over to me with his hand out. "I'm Ash. This is Tex, and that's Harlow."

"Don't insult the fed, Ash," Harlow said. "I'm pretty sure he knows more about you than you know about you. Don't you have a bunch of files somewhere on us?"

The challenge in his eyes was mad. I could see it, the insanity that lurked in those gray depths. I stared into the abyss, but refused to flinch. Harlow wasn't the first crazy man I'd gone up against and he wouldn't be the last.

"Haven't been in the office in weeks," I said off-handedly. "I don't know what's in those files."

"I'm sure," he said.

"Goddamn, that's a lot of tension," Tex grumbled. "Can we all please have a drink or something? Come on, I'll make everyone one. What's your poison, York?"

"Whiskey, but I'll take anything."

Tex grinned. "Mind if I use your kitchen?"

"Knock yourself out," I said. "Hey." I stopped him and walked over. "You used to be a cop, right? What was it like to quit for Enzo?"

Tex glanced behind me before he lowered his voice. "It was the best thing I've ever done. Then again, I wasn't really cut out to be a cop. Bartending, being around my boyfriend, hanging out with my mom; I love my life a whole lot more now than I used to."

He smiled as he straightened up and walked to my kitchen. I stared in his direction, torn by his words. Quitting my job would be the biggest blow I could think of. Yes, I wanted to spend more time with my daughters, and the job did stress me out, but I wanted to stay in the field for at least another ten or fifteen years. I thought about quitting, for Paolo and the girls, but it left an ache in my chest. I was good at what I did. How could I just stop?

I remembered Dawn telling me that the love I had for my job was one of the reasons why she married me. That much passion means you’re meant to do it. I’m proud of you.

When I turned back around, Ash and Harlow quickly went back to speaking as if they hadn't been talking about me. I knew they were, all of them would. I was the FBI agent, the wolf among the sheep, at least in their minds.

"You all can stop staring at me," I said. "I haven't turned anyone in yet and I’ve had plenty of time."

"Well, you might change your mind," Harlow said.

"Although, we hope you don't," Ash said nervously. "I know things were crazy at the factory, but if Giancarlo gets locked up again..."

He trailed off, but I knew the tales of Giancarlo all too well. If he was tossed into prison again, he'd probably completely lose his mind instead of most of it.

"You know, the life he lives doesn't exactly lend itself to not getting locked up. It might happen again someday."

"Yeah?" Harlow cut in. "We can deal with that in the future, instead of now, if you keep your mouth shut."

I looked at both of them. I mimed zipping my lips and throwing away the key. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing to report. The Acetos and Triads had gone down, the Vitales were pulling back, the other gangs that had infiltrated our city had gone home. The world was quiet. I saw no need to start anything up and put me, my children, and Gianpaolo in danger. Besides, there was no way to be truthful when it would get Paolo taken away from me.

"Paolo is awake."

I spun around and looked at Enzo. His gaze swept over me, and I felt judged immediately. Whether that was good or bad, I wasn’t sure. When he was done, he moved toward Tex and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Thanks," I said. "Excuse me."