Page 65 of Never Say Never

"We've been over this, you don't have to do everything yourself."

York was silent and the tension that seemed to plague us lately came back. Without the girls there to buffer it, there was no way not to feel it weigh on you. I moved around, trying to ignore it.

"Hey, Paul, I can get the rest. You already did a lot," York said.

I placed the ketchup in the fridge, forcing a smile on my face. "Sounds like you're trying to get rid of me now." An awkward laugh spilled free. What in the hell was I supposed to do with this?

York shook his head. "No, I'm just—" He blew out a breath. "I'm tired and think I’m going to turn in too."

I opened my mouth ready to tell him I could stay just in case he needed help through the night.

"Alone. There's just a lot on my mind."

I nodded, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "Okay, sure." Locking down my emotions was getting harder and harder where York was concerned. "I'll get out of your hair. Can't get in the way of your thoughts." I headed for the door, pain flaring in the middle of my chest.

"Paul, that's not what I meant."

"But it was.” I stopped and glared at him. The turmoil of emotions made it impossible to pick just one. Anger was always easiest. “Let me know when you're ready to have fun again. I know it's all I'm good for." I slammed the door behind me. The moment there was a divide between us, I wanted to go back, but instead, I headed out to my car.

There was only one reason York was treating me differently. He could pretend to believe my lie about Tony being an informant but I knew the truth. York had doubts about me, and I couldn't say he was wrong either.

I had my phone out the moment I got into the car. I dialed the secure line I only used in emergencies. It rang three times before there was an answer. Crying in the background gave me the answer I needed to know why it took Benito so long to pick up.

"Possible cracked egg."

The crying stopped before Benito spoke. "You fucked up?"

My hands tightened on the wheel as I pulled out of York's parking garage.

"I don't know."

"Fuck! This messes everything up." Benito's disappointment hurt just as badly as York's suspicions.

Nothing was going right. Where did I fuck up?

Maybe when I fell for my boss.

I had spent three long weeks healing and secluding myself from the world. My arm was doing better. It still hurt when I moved it wrong, but it was a major improvement over how I had been before. The pain pills had been tossed into a drawer the second week, and I stopped sleeping all day while the girls were at school. I checked in on work, but was quickly told in no uncertain terms to stop worrying and go away. I knew my team was looking out for me, but I needed to work, needed something to occupy my mind.

Today was finally the day. I would be taking back over from Agent Klein and have my team back. I almost looked forward to it, the hustle and bustle of the office and the knowledge that I was doing my part in the world. Normally, I was the first one to come back early when I was sick and the last one to take off time when I really needed it. I had been a workaholic for as long as I could remember and it suited me. Even though I loved the extra time with my daughters, I was eager to walk back through those doors and put my mind on something else than the endless loop of doubt and discouragement that went through my mind when I was alone.

Until I remembered Paul.

I'd been avoiding thinking about him for the past three weeks, but he still found a way to slip into the forefront of my mind. Even when all I wanted to do was forget about our little arrangements and where it had led us, there was Paul infecting my dreams.

We hadn't parted on the best of terms. The way he'd acted had shocked me. I had never seen Paul Gallo lose his cool, not even once. But at the mere suggestion that I only looked at him like a booty call, he'd slammed my door and stormed away, leaving me in a haze of confusion that only continued to grow. I wanted to believe he was telling me the truth, but how could I? There were people lying all around me. I didn't know who to trust.

"Morning, Agent Washington," a woman called.

"Good morning," I returned, without even thinking about it. My mind was too focused on the one man I wasn't so sure I wanted to see.

I made my way to the conference room, shutting the door behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know that every pair of eyes was trained on me. When I faced them, they were. Everyone shifted in their seats as I made my way to the front.

"You're back," Hunter said. "How's the shoulder?"

"Better," I answered shortly.

"Are you sure? I mean, I'm glad you're back, but we don't want you killing yourself for us," Summer added.