Page 74 of Never Say Never

"Me and the girls."

"I'm coming."

Paul hung up and I stared at the phone. I could have called anyone, could have summoned any one of my team members to the scene so that they could help us, but I had called the one man that I was tormented over. I knew, deep down, that it was a completely stupid decision, but I craved comfort.

I craved Paul.

As the girls cried, I drew them against my body and comforted them with soft words and gentle shushes. They were hysterical, their cries sending me back to that night when I had to tell them that their mother was gone. I clutched them more tightly, clinging to them as they did the same to me.

Please hurry, Paul. I can't do this right now.

I need you.

"Who the fuck is in charge? Move back. Move!"

I turned as Paul entered the garage, anger written all over his face. The fire had been put out, the bomb squad had checked to make sure there were no other devices, and now we simply stood there, waiting while I talked to the officers and insisted that they don't touch anything. Hunter, Summer, and Jamie were all on their way to the scene. I wanted them to go through it, to pick it apart until something made sense. I needed to know who was doing this.

So I could put them underneath a cell.

My fingers clenched, opened, and clenched again. They were moving on their own, as if I wasn't in control of my own body. The thought of someone trying to kill my babies had triggered a bloodthirsty part of me. Whoever had done this didn't deserve prison. I wanted to put a bullet in their brain.

"York."

Paul dragged me into his arms and held me close. I stood there, contemplating if I should hug him back or not. My mind was a jumbled, distorted mess. I wanted to cling to him, but I also wanted no one to touch me ever again. Someone had taken the only love I'd ever known away once, and now they were willing to do it again. Without my girls, I would be nothing. I wouldn't be able to go on if they were gone.

"Girls." Paul dropped down and gathered them in his arms. "Are you okay?"

Their crying had quieted, but now it started up full blast again. He held them tightly, burying his face in their hair and promising them that everything was going to be all right. As I watched him, my heart clenched. He was there for my kids, holding them as if they were his. Talking to them as if they were the most important people in his life and he had almost lost them. I wanted him at that moment. Wanted to hold and touch and kiss and love him so I could know what it was like to love and be loved again.

What am I thinking about? What's wrong with me? I don't have time for this shit right now!

"Paul, can you take the girls to Shelly? She just arrived."

He glanced back at her and then at the girls. They clung to both of us, refusing to let us go.

"I think you'd better do it," he said softly. "I want to check out the car while everything's still fresh. When you get back, we'll talk about this."

"Yeah," I said, for once taking an order instead of giving one. "Okay. I'll be right back."

I took both of the girls over to Shelly as she stood at the entrance of the parking garage. They clung to me for five more minutes before I was finally able to peel them off and hand them over to their nanny. She wrapped the girls in her arms, whispering to them softly. Whatever she said soothed them. They clung to her afterwards, refusing to let go. I lingered for a moment, not wanting to leave their sides when they were so vulnerable and raw. But if I didn't find out who did this, they would try again.

"I love you both," I said as I crouched down and touched their faces. "Be good for Shelly, okay?"

"Yes, Daddy," Navy whispered.

Nyra simply nodded, no longer speaking. She worried me the most sometimes, the way she could just shut down was troubling. I pulled them both against me once more. It was hard to let them go knowing what had just happened. I wanted to stay with them for the rest of the day, tuck us into a corner of the couch, and forget the rest of the world existed. The only thing that stopped me from hiding was the fact that I had to protect not only myself, but them.

"I'll see you both later. I promise." I glanced up at Shelly. "Take them to that hotel. Now. Don't make any detours, don't stop anywhere, just go straight there, get a room, lock the door. Don't let anyone in until I call and tell you I’m standing outside of it and you can see me.”

"Yes, of course, Mr. Washington."

“I’ll send someone to watch your door. Keep your eyes open.”

I watched as they returned to her car. The only reason I didn't check it over from top to bottom was because I'd just seen her pull up in it not long ago. I knew it was safe. Once I loaded the girls up, clicked their seatbelts, and kissed their heads, I sent them off with their nanny. I waited, watching until the car disappeared around the corner, and even then, I continued to stare.

"York."

I turned on my heels. Paul stood there, worry on his face, as he held onto my arm. I glanced back in the direction of my daughters before I followed behind him. The parking garage still held the smell of smoke, burning embers, boiling oil. The aroma was enough to make me want to throw up my bagels and cream cheese, but instead, I walked over to the car with Paul. We stopped short.