Page 60 of The Wild Man
I don’t like imagining Wild Man in the future with me still with him, but they keep coming more and more. And the kicker is, I’m there willingly, and I’m happy. I can’t imagine staying in the wilderness like this. It’s uncomfortable during the best of times and utterly horrible and frightening during the worst. The only enjoyment I get out of this situation is being with Wild Man.
His finger tracing the space between my eyes pulls me out of my nonsensical thoughts.
“Why stop smiling?” he asks, a frown forming on his face. “What are you thinking?”
I force the smile back in place. “Nothing important.”
He looks like he doesn’t believe me, but he lets it go.
He knocks the covers off of us, and I open my legs so he can slide between them. We always have morning sex, so I expected that’s what he wanted.
The cool air hits between my legs, and I feel wet. I’m aroused, anticipating what’s to come, but it’s not the normal wetness. I look down and see red on my thighs.
Horror and embarrassment have my head jerking up to look at Wild Man to see if he noticed. His eyes are on my face and not what’s going on down there.
“Off,” I say, pushing against his chest.
Of course, he’s unmovable.
“What’s wrong?”
When he begins to dip his chin, I latch my arms around his shoulders and tug him down. The last thing I want is for him to look down and see all of the blood.
The only reason I’m able to pull him down is because of the surprised movement. He plants his fists on the pallet beside my head and lifts his chest off mine. I don’t let him go, so I’m forced up with him.
“Momor?”
“I started my period,” I blurt to distract him when he tries to pull away from me again. “I’m bleeding.”
His brows slam down and his body jerks back. “Bleeding?”
“Yes.” I feel the heat of embarrassment coat my cheeks. “I started my period,” I state again. “Most women go through this every month.”
I began to worry because my period was late, and I always start on time like clockwork. I’ve lost track of how long I’ve been with Wild Man, but I’m positive I should have started my cycle well before now, especially since I haven’t been taking my birth control. I was certain the inevitable had happened, and I was carrying Wild Man’s child. Now, relief mingles with my embarrassment. Getting pregnant by this man cannot happen.
That thought slides through my head, followed by a little niggle of regret. It’s a stupid and irrational thought to have, but I can’t help but wonder what a child that we created would look like. It hurts knowing I won’t get to see him as a father. There’s no doubt in my mind that he would make a wonderful dad.
Wild Man reaches back, unlocks my arms around his neck, and begins to lean back.
“What are you doing?” My voice comes out loud and panicked.
He doesn’t answer. He just continues on his merry way and gets to his knees. I try to close my knees to block his view, but his hands land on top of them, stopping me. When I reach for him, frantically grabbing at his hair, arms, anything, to pull him back down, he grabs my hands in one of his big hands and places them down on my stomach, trapping them.
His eyes drop down, and I close mine in mortification. I’m not ashamed of my period. I just don’t want Wild Man to see the evidence. I mean, come on, what woman would?
His frown deepens into worry when he sees all of the red on my thighs. “Why do you do this?”
Mortification doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling right now, but I push the feeling away. I can’t imagine what he must be thinking. He was too young when he was left alone to understand the workings of a woman’s body. Blood usually indicates an injury, so for him to see so much without me withering in pain must confound him.
“It’s part of the cycle of life for women,” I tell him, his rapt gaze still locked between my legs.
How embarrassing!
“Women have something in their stomach called a uterus. During the month, if the woman doesn’t get pregnant, the lining of the uterus sheds away, which is what’s called a menstrual cycle. That’s the blood.”
His eyes lift to mine, and I can see them working as he absorbs what I’ve just told him.
After a moment, he asks, “So if woman sheds blood, she doesn’t have baby in belly?”