Page 15 of Her Summer Hope
He looked less solemn after that, though he did abandon the fish pizza in favor of pepperoni. Kyle thought he was missing camaraderie, and he intended to make the young sergeant feel right at home.
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“They said they’ll fit you with the prosthetics whenever you feel like it. It’s completely up to you.”
They were in the living room after supper and Kyle was going over the prosthetist's recommendations. Aiden looked pensive and nervous. He hadn’t said anything so far, and Kyle wondered if he was pushing him too hard too soon.
He was about to let up when Aiden spoke up. “All right.”
It was one word, but it gave Kyle an immense amount of happiness and satisfaction.
“Great,” Kyle said with feeling. “They’ll fit you with the prostheses and the adaptors. They’re some of the best on the market. Aiden, you can walk, you can ruck, you can ride a bike…you’ll be able to do almost anything you want.”
Aiden swallowed and looked away, but Kyle saw it on his face.
Hope.
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Kyle finished washing his face and hair and stepped out of the shower. The mirror was fogged, but he didn’t need it to know that he hadn’t yet gained the extra pounds many seemed to get after being out a while.
He didn’t intend to.
Every year, he had to work harder and harder to achieve the physical results that he’d barely had to sweat for in his early twenties. It was brutal on his knees and back, but he refused to give up. He was only thirty-nine.
He was in his prime, even if he wasn’t following his old dream anymore.
He had a new dream now, a new goal to focus on, and a new beginning. If he got lonely sometimes, well…that was human nature. He had the guys to talk to, and he would make that enough. He was too focused on his foundation to stop everything for a woman.
Even before he’d deployed that first time, Regina had wanted everything he could give and more.
She wanted his undivided attention—which he had loved— and his money—which he hadn’t loved quite so much. She had been a good woman, but over time something changed and he was never enough.
After the first deployment, she got manipulative and mean. He chalked it up to anxiety and maybe a lingering grudge against him for leaving, though he had no choice and he’d already been in when they’d met.
After the second deployment, he couldn’t see himself marrying her, though he loved her too much to break it off. He did his best to make her happy, but no matter how hard he tried, it never quite worked.
She left him for another man right after his third deployment, and that’s when he immediately volunteered for the fourth. That was the beginning.
The guys volunteered as well, and he dragged them all into hell.
The guilt of that never left him. It joined the guilt he held for all his other mistakes and they preyed on him in the dark hours and when he least expected it. He couldn’t see himself letting anyone else in, not again.
He could never make himself vulnerable like that, not when the last time got one of his brothers killed.
He sat on the edge of the bed and clutched his head, tugging the strands of his hair and letting the pain stabilize him. He was here now, and he had all kinds of positive stuff to focus on. He could make amends. He couple help Aiden, and when Jace showed up in a few more days, he would help him too.
He’d help them all.
Downstairs, Jimmy slid a plate of bacon, eggs, biscuits, and gravy over the counter and he took it into the dining room where Murdock was demolishing three breakfasts and Evans was joking with a very exasperated Aiden.
Jimmy came in with his coffee and juice and he thanked the man.
He took a healthy swig of the juice and was confused to find the ex-Navy guy still standing by his left arm.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
Jimmy raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were going to hire another chef?”