Page 38 of Long Hard Road
She crossed the inches of space between our faces and captured my lips with her mouth. Her taste was the only thing I ever wanted to taste. It was sweet and warm and it filled the hunger inside of me. She nipped lightly at my lower lip and pulled back an inch. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
“Okay.” I traced her lower lip with my finger. “Is this about bacon?”
Her blush was back. “So you did hear me.”
“I did. But I’m kind of dense so you probably better explain what you meant.” I nudged her nose with mine. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about anything with me, Madison.”
“Once we have this conversation, you’re not going to want me to kiss you again.”
“I can promise you that’s not true.” Just to prove my point, I touched my lips to hers.
Her eyes drifted closed as I flicked my tongue against her lower lip. “I’ve never been with a man. I’ve never… had sex.” When her eyes opened, they were full of fear.
“Is that something you want to do?”
“Yes.” Her teeth sank into her lower lip. “It’s kind of all I’ve been thinking about the last couple of days.”
“Is there a reason why you haven’t taken that step with another man?” I had no idea if I was handling this conversation appropriately. At 32, it had been a long time since I had even thought about whether a romantic partner might be a virgin.
“Because I can’t have sex with a man and expect it not to blow up in my face. I just told you about Adam and I never even had sex with him. If I did take that step with a man and he was the wrong man, it could end very badly for me. Pictures or videos on the internet. Tell-all interviews. Attempts to sabotage birth control and knock me up with an anchor baby. For someone like me, it could be risky.”
I had never stopped to think about that particular challenge of being a celebrity. But it wasn’t uncommon for female celebrities to deal with sex tapes and nudes being circulated by former lovers. “I don’t think every man would do something like that, Madison.”
“No, they wouldn’t. But it’s hard to tell which ones would. Money can make people do things they wouldn’t normally do.” She rolled her head away from me. “I can’t have a normal relationship because my life isn’t normal.”
“Why did you decide to tell me this, Madison?”
“Because last night, if you hadn’t stopped us, I would’ve had sex with you.” She kept her eyes fixed on a point in the distance. “I want to have sex with you, Nate. I don’t really know what to do with that feeling because I’ve honestly never wanted to have sex with any other man. I’ve never trusted any of them enough.”
“But you trust me?” I inferred.
“I do.” She sat up abruptly. “But you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to throw myself on you again. I know what you said about me being too young and innocent for you. You were right. It would be a mistake.”
“Would it?” I had been so sure when I’d told her that, but now I had my doubts. Madison and I had insane chemistry, but there was also something else between us. A deeper connection than I’d ever felt with any woman. It felt like she was already mine even though we’d only spent a couple of days together.
“You said you would ruin me.”
I nodded. “That’s true. I might ruin you, Madison, and you might ruin me. But we’ll never know if you end this now.”
When she looked at me, her emerald eyes were shining under a coating of tears. “It’s hard for me to let people into my world. I have a lot to lose. But if I push you away, then I’m going to lose you.”
“Don’t cry, angel.” I stroked a thumb over her cheek. “You don’t have to decide anything right now. I’m not going anywhere. I like being with you even when you’re not throwing yourself on me.”
“When Eli comes back, don’t sign the paperwork. I don’t want you to be treated the same as those guys from my fake relationships.” She grabbed my hand and pressed it to her chest, right over her heart. “The way I feel about you is real, Nate. I can’t explain it, but I just feel right with you.”
My inner demons were screaming for me to slam my walls back into place and make sure Madison stayed firmly on the other side of them. But she had already brushed against my heart. “I feel right with you, Madison.” I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her temple. “I can slam on the brakes and coast until you’re ready to explore this. But make no mistake– you will be mine.”
14
MADISON
Ellison returned not long after he left and he slapped a stack of papers on the coffee table. I opened my mouth to tell him off but Nate just grabbed a pen and starting signing.
“Nate, I told you I don’t want you to do that.” I tried to snatch the pen out of his hand, but he shrugged me away.
“I have nothing to hide, Madison. If this will make it easier for your security team to protect you, I’m happy to do it.” He scribbled one last signature and stood, turning his attention to Ellison. “I need to head back to my place for a bit. Will you stay with her?”
Ellison nodded with his pissed-off glare leveled at me. “We’ve got a lot to discuss.”