Page 10 of Devil's Retribution
“What did he carry himself like?”
I thought back to Viktor, his quiet charisma, the power I felt when I stared into those eyes. Like the heat from a bonfire—so much will, so much ferocious strength. I couldn’t imagine anything in the world ever scaring him.
If only I felt like I could trust him at all, I would have called the number on the card he’d given me. Not to offer therapy sessions, either.
“Like a cross between a military man and one of those old-school businessmen who still has some actual sense of honor.” I considered. “And throw in a dash of Bond Villain.”
“Huh. Russian?”
“That’s my guess from his accent. But if he is, he’s lived here a long time.”
She chuckled into her drink and then took a swallow. “Russian guys are definitely a special breed. My sister’s married to one, and he has five brothers. They can get very intense, just by nature. When they’re not going through the stupid phase of being young, anyway. I swear to God, my brother-in-law used to be the king of hold-my-beer moments.”
I took a mouthful of my own drink, smiling lopsidedly. “Ever had to bail him out of jail?”
“No, but it was a near thing a couple of times. We’ve had to go running out to the ER several times because of him. Not anywhere near as much these days, but when he was in his twenties... yeah. I would say it happened at least once every six months or so.”
“Damn. I’m really glad he grew out of that eventually. Otherwise, that would be hell to deal with.” I couldn’t easily imagine the calm, controlled man I met this morning engaging in reckless stunts, beer-fueled or otherwise. Though maybe when he had been younger, he’d had his share of such misadventures.
“So are you going to call him back?”
I thought about it, but then smiled and shook my head, I had to trust my instincts on this one. “I’d like to, I’ve got to admit the man makes me swoon a little, but if I can’t trust him, there can’t be a relationship.”
She smiled faintly. “Amen to that, sister.” Then her smile faded away again. “I wanted to ask how you’re doing otherwise. It’s getting around that time of year again, and I know you get depressed thinking about it.”
I tensed and set my drink down. “Yeah. I guess I have been thinking about it a little more than usual. But I mean... you’re right, it’s coming up on the anniversary of their deaths. I suppose I should expect to feel kind of off right now.”
Growing up, I’d had a family. Parents, a sister. Now I had neither.
The parents we’d lost in a car accident when we’d both been very young. Uncle Charles had taken us under his wing to keep us from getting lost in the system, and my childhood had been fine thanks to his stepping in. Fine, save for the one pain, the one young children shouldn’t have to bear. I’d missed my mom and dad like I might miss a lost limb. I still did sometimes, though I’d learned to cope with it. But even so, it was always worse on the anniversary of their deaths. As a psychiatrist I knew all about the grieving process and the triggers, but still, when it related to me and not a patient, then it was different.
She looked at me sympathetically. “Yeah, honey. Around this time every year you tell me you feel off, or you just plain look stressed, and then you’re surprised it still happens.”
“I guess I am. I was so young. I mostly remember their faces from pictures. You’d think it would fade.”
“You’re talking to the lady who hasn’t dealt with her drunk uncle since she was six, and I still get nervous when people drink too much on Christmas.” She looked a little exasperated with herself.
It made me feel better, but still… “He knocked over the tree and accidentally set it on fire, honey, I think you’re allowed.”
“And you’re allowed to mourn your parents, sweetie. Especially on the anniversary of their death.”
My mouth went dry and my eyes stung. She would have made a hell of a therapist. I hoped she would decide to go back to school some day, but I knew better than to bring that up again. “Yeah, you’ve got a point. I guess I just need to stay aware of it, give myself a break, try to distract myself.”
Darcy flashed me a grin. “Maybe you should call up that mystery guy anyway. Ask him out. Surprise the hell out of him. Now that could be a nice distraction.”
“Yeah,” I replied thoughtfully. “Maybe.” Just thinking about it sent a little flush of heat through me. But it also reminded me of how wary I had felt around that mysterious, intense man.
I didn’t want to be with anyone who didn’t make me feel safe. That should have been the end of it. His card should have gone in the garbage. But I still wanted him, despite the feeling of danger… and that scared me more than anything.
Chapter 5
Emma
The rest of the afternoon, I was haunted by Viktor. My conversation with Darcy had only added fuel to the fire. I wondered what my uncle would find out from his background check, that’s if his men could even get anything from just a phone number. I wondered how dangerous Viktor was, and why he turned me on, despite leaving me with the impression that I couldn’t trust him. And most of all, I wondered what his reaction would be if I really did call him and ask if he wanted to go out for coffee.
Had he ever been asked out by a woman? Would he be flattered? Scandalized? Interested? And what would I do if he actually said yes?
It was so out of character for me, wanting someone this badly but being this wary of him as well. It made it hard for me to focus. But my patients needed me, so I buckled down and did everything I could to put him out of my mind.