Page 73 of Wrapped in Hope

He picks up his cup and takes a sip. “I didn’t want to ruin your life, Hope. Is that so hard to believe?”

“No, what you did was take away my choice. I loved you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. And you took that away from me.” Anger is pumping through me at an alarming rate. I’ve had three long years to picture this moment and all the things I would say. I promised myself that I wouldn’t let him walk away again until he admitted that he still loves me, or never loved me to begin with.

“I took a lot from you,” he admits, shamefully.

“Goddamn it, Holden. When are you going to see that you didn’t take anything from me when we were together? You gave me way more than you ever took. You gave me happiness, you gave me love. Why is that so wrong?”

“I didn’t want you to lose the only family you had left. I left so you wouldn’t have to make the choice between me and them.” Lines are forming across his forehead. I can see all the trouble brewing in his eyes. They burn with regrets and sadness, but I still see love beneath them.

“You mean my family that I haven’t spoken to since the night I graduated?”

The anger on his face smooths away. “What? Why?”

I lean back, looking at my hands in my lap. “Because they wouldn’t let me live my life. They want to control me, make my choices for me. And I refuse to live someone else’s life. It’s mine to live how I see fit.”

He shakes his head with a small laugh. “You really have grown, Hope.”

“Now, tell me.”

His eyes pop up to mine. “Tell you what?”

“I want to hear you say that you still love me or that you never did. I need to hear the truth.”

Seriousness covers his face as he leans forward and reaches for my hand. The second he touches it, it feels as though it’s been lit on fire. “How could you ever think that I don’t love you? I’ve told you time and time again how I felt about you.”

“Just say it,” I say, leaning toward him. We’re as close as we can be with a table between us. His breath blows across my face, making me want to wet my dry lips, but I don’t. I want his eyes on mine when he says the words, not my mouth.

“I love you, Hope. I always have. It’s not something that will ever fade away. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, long for you. I’ve had to stop myself from searching for you nearly every fucking day.” He pulls his eyes from mine as he drops my hand and leans back. “I lost that fight a year ago when I looked you up and found you here. I packed up my life and moved, in hopes of running into you and begging you to take me back, or to put me out of my misery and tell me to leave you alone once and for all. But now it’s too late. You’re with someone.”

“Have you been watching me?” My eyes squint at him.

He laughs. “No. I went to your apartment to see you. I was sitting in the lobby when you two walked in hand in hand. You were both looking at one another, laughing, and I knew I couldn’t break up what you had because you found what I always hoped you would.” He stands and looks down at me. “I’m sorry. For everything. But I’m so happy that you found the life I knew you would.”

Without another word, he walks out, leaving me staring after him in shock. It feels like my world has stopped. He loves me and always has.

I still love him, even though I’ve tried to stop many times over the past three years.

Everything moves at full speed now as my feet move on their own. They carry me outside and to a sudden stop to look all around me to find him. I look in front of me, to my left, and to my right. Finally, I see him, walking away from me with his head down.

I turn to my right and chase after him screaming his name. The city is so busy and loud that he doesn’t even hear me. I try again while my feet carry me as fast as they can. He comes to a stop at the corner and raises his hand, flagging down a cab. I’m still a block away from him.

God, no. Please don’t let him get in a cab.

A cab pulls up to the curb and he opens the door. I scream as loud as I can. Finally, he hears me. He turns and his eyes lock on mine.

He closes the door and lets the cab drive away as he takes a few steps in my direction.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asks as I come to a stop directly in front of him, panting and out of breath.

My heart pounds hard against my chest. “I love you too, still, after all this time. You’re the only person I can think about.”

His brows pull together as he shakes his head. “Hope, you’re living with someone. That’s serious.”

I laugh as I wrap my hands around his neck and pull his lips to mine. They move quick and with precision. It causes a fire to light that I thought was gone forever.

He pulls away. “What the hell, Hope?”

“I’m not with Brad. He’s my roommate, and completely gay.”