Page 63 of F*cking Shattered
She shrugs. “I don’t know. My dad finally told me about it all. He asked if I wanted to meet him, but I don’t know if I can.”
“Why? He’s your brother.”
“This whole thing has caused so much grief with us. It’s like we’re not even the same family anymore.”
I pull her in for a hug, rubbing her back. “That’s not his fault, Katie. He’s innocent in all this. He didn’t have a dad growing up, then he shows up and gets turned away. Can you imagine what he must be thinking right now?”
She pulls back. “I just need time to get used to the fact that I have a brother out there. But, you know, you’re right. I’ll call him soon and set up a time to meet.”
I nod. “I completely understand. It’s a lot to take in. Call him, when you’re ready.”
“Jovi,” River’s voice pulls me away from my memory.
I shake my head. “River, what’s your middle name?”
He flexes his jaw before saying, “River is my middle name.”
I cover my mouth with my hand as tears fill my eyes. “Josh?”
He nods, tears filling his own eyes, but he doesn’t let them fall.
Chapter Fifteen
My feet start backing away from him on their own. “I don’t understand.”
“Please, just let me explain.” He steps closer to me, but I step away.
“You’ve been lying to me. This whole time?” My voice is high pitched and I feel betrayed. I turn away, I can’t look at him.
Anger floods over me and I turn back. “I’ve told you things I’ve never told another person, and you couldn’t even tell me your real name?” I’m not sure which is stronger: anger or hurt.
He shakes his head as guilt and shame wash over his face. “It’s not like that, Jovi. I swear. I wanted to tell you, I did. But I knew if I told you who I really was while you were still hurting with everything so raw, you’d just see Katie, and that would make you hurt worse.”
“No. You don’t get to tell me anything anymore. You had your chance. You don’t know how I would’ve reacted. You didn’t even give me the chance. You just assumed it would be better for me if you lied.” I let out a laugh. “Well, that’s the last time. Find your own way home.” I turn and walk off the boat.
When I get to the car, I climb behind the wheel. I look up to see him leaning against the railing, hanging his head.
He looks so broken and part of me breaks a little. No, I can’t feel sorry for him. He’s lied to me for three months!
I back out as quickly as I can. I have to get back to the apartment and pack my things. I’m going home.
* * *
I get my things from the apartment we’ve been staying in, but I don’t make it out of town. My eyes are leaking tears so quickly, I can’t see to drive. I stop at the first motel I find and rent a room for the night.
I fall down onto the bed and curl into a ball. I can’t believe this. River is Josh – Katie’s brother. The brother she didn’t know she had until a few years ago. How could I have not put this together? I feel so stupid. I mean, it’s not like I ever saw a picture of him. I remember her irritated laugh when she would show me all the pictures she had taken on her trips to see him. He always had a way of ducking out of the picture, or covering his face at the last second.
This makes me realize that I’ve had more of her than I originally thought. I thought all I had was this list and her ashes around my neck, but I’ve had her brother this whole time. The same blood that ran through her veins runs through his.
I hate myself for running from him, but I need time to think. He lied to me. He could have told me, but instead he chose to keep me in the dark.
I dry my eyes and step into the shower. I need to wash this day from my mind. As I lather up, the memories of my summer wash over me and my heart longs for him. I’m completely fucking addicted. He owns me, even my heart knows it. But I can’t just go running back. I need to wrap my head around this. All of it, not just his lies.
When I get out of the shower, I sit on the bed and hold my phone in my hands, debating on calling George. He’s the only one who can give me the truth. I need the truth to make my decision.
I hit the send button and the phone rings. As I’m sure it’s going to go to voicemail, he answers. “Hello?”
“Mr. Hansen?” I nearly whisper.