Page 65 of F*cking Shattered

He’s right. Who cares what he wants me to call him. I love him. “You’re right,” I whisper, suddenly realizing how badly I’ve fucked this all up. “I have to go. I have to find him.” I stand and grab my bag.

“Be careful. And please come by and see us soon. We miss you,” George says.

“I will, I promise,” I say before wiping my cheeks and hanging up the phone.

I toss my bag into the backseat of the car and rush over to the apartment. I left my key inside when I left in such a rush, so I pound on the door relentlessly, but he doesn’t answer.

I stand on my tiptoes and peak into the frosted glass window on the top. The place is dark. He’s gone.

It feels like my whole world comes crashing down on me. My chest hurts as I turn back for the car, admitting defeat. He’s gone, and I’ll be lucky if I ever see him again.

I don’t have the strength to drive all the way across the country by myself. I can’t do it. That will be entirely way too much time to think about how I fucked this up. I just want to run home and crawl into bed. I want to be surrounded by my things, my memories. I want to be someplace where I can talk to Katie, a place where I feel close to her.

Luckily, I rented the car from a nationwide company. I turn over the car and get a taxi to take me to the airport. The whole way there, my stomach is in knots. I temporarily forget about the problems I caused with River. All I can think about now is getting on a plane so soon after my best friend died on one.

I’m almost having a panic attack by the time the cab pulls up front. Without allowing myself any time to think about what I’m doing, I climb out of the cab and rush inside to buy a ticket home.

Home. That’s my only thought right now.

I buy a ticket, but the next flight is booked, so I have to wait until tomorrow morning, but even that will get me home faster than driving. I walk through the airport completely drained. The stress of the day has worn on me more than any other. I’m exhausted, worried, stressed, lonely, and afraid. I can’t even bother to lift my head. I walk through the airport hanging my head, watching the floor, trying not to let the fear overwhelm me. Trying not to remember the images on the screen that fateful day.

Suddenly, every hair on my body seems to stand on end and a tingling forms in my stomach. My heart begins pounding wildly, and I look up in confusion, not sure why my body is acting this way.

I see vibrant blue eyes staring back at me and a mess of blond hair. His eyes narrow on me as he flexes his jaw. He looks angry, and sad, but so fucking sexy. I want to forget all about our fight. I want to rush into his arms and ask him to never let me go, but I can’t seem to make my feet work. I’m frozen in fear because I don’t know if he will want me after the way I acted.

Chapter Sixteen

The phone rings as I’m packing my belongings. “Hello?”

“Josh? It’s Dad,” the man on the other end of the line says.

A wave of shock rolls over me. “Dad?” I fall to the edge of my bed that’s covered in piles of trash and clothes from my quick attempt at packing.

“How’a doin’ Son?”

I wipe the unshed tears from my eyes. “Not so well. Mom’s funeral was today.”

I hear his ragged breathing over the phone. “I’m so sorry, Son. I wish I could’ve helped you. I didn’t even know you existed when you showed up. What can I do?”

I shake my head like he can actually see me. “Nothing. There’s nothing to do.”

“Look, Josh. I want to get to know you. I want a relationship with you.”

I laugh, but it doesn’t sound right. “Oh, now you want a relationship? What about your family?”

“My daughter, Katie, your sister, wants to meet you.”

“And your wife?” I question. I knew she was the whole problem all along.

“She’s not happy about it, but she won’t be a problem. However, she won’t be coming along either.”

“Coming along? You mean, you’re coming here?” I’m surprised. I never expected to see him again.

“If that’s okay with you.”

“Yea—” I have to clear my throat because my emotions are thick right now. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Alright. I’ll arrange everything now.” I can hear the smile on his face. It brings out a smile of my own.