Page 71 of Wild About You
Four Months Later
“You…” I manage between panting breaths. “Are lucky…I love you.”
Instead of my darling boyfriend, at whom the comment is directed, it’s Benny Beneventi who replies.
“I don’t love Finn yet. Someone remind me why I’m here?”
Reese’s boyfriend is less outdoorsy than I was, pre–Wild Adventures. I think Finn expected they’d bond over all the activities he planned for our fall break in Vermont, fooled by Benny arriving at the Burlington airport already wearing a flannel and hiking boots. Finn didn’t realize that was only the city boy’s Rugged Outdoorsman cosplay, the exact same outfit he’d worn the first time he and Reese ever hiked together.
“Basic safety protocol, Norberto,” I say, speech coming easier now as we get to a flatter part of the trail. “When planning a camping trip, you always invite at least one person you can outrun. You know, in case of a bear encounter.”
Benny scoffs. “Joke’s on you. I watched this show where a girl came across a bear in the wild, and now I know you’re not supposed to run from them. You just start yelling a bunch of pop culture opinions and annoy the bear into running from you.”
The whole group laughs while I groan. But when I catch Finn’s knowing look, I give him a wink. We both know I have no shame about my now-infamous black bear showdown.
We also know that as much as I complain any time he drags me out hiking or camping, I love this shit.
I thought it was a long shot to get everyone into this trip idea, back in the summer when I proposed it. No more than a month into Finn’s and my long-distance relationship, it was ambitious to look at fall break plans together. But my new financial aid and scholarship setup had just been finalized, ensuring that not only could I afford to go back to Oliver College, but I wouldn’t have to worry about money for the rest of my time there. My nightly video call dates with my beautiful grumpy man were going splendidly. I was feeling grand and making plans.
My childhood besties, Reese and Clara, were immediately interested in spending a long weekend in Finn’s hometown, eager as they were to meet the boyfriend they’d watched me become a lovesick fool for on TV. Benny goes where Reese goes. More surprising, though, was being able to get Harper, Evan, and Zeke here. Harper and I have talked regularly since Wild Adventures ended, and through her, I’ve gotten to know Evan more. The two of them live only a state apart and have stayed true to their plans to keep hiking together.
Zeke was more of a wild card. I think the guy needed someone to talk to after the show was over, to parse out the overwhelming experience of it all, and he and his partner didn’t leave on the best terms, after she cheated them out of a win. Enter Finn. Borrow a guy’s fountain pen one time, become his amateur therapist for life. But the other guy’s grown on him, enough that Finn asked another month or so later if he could extend a fall break invite to Zeke.
No regrets so far. Not on the invite list, anyway. Minor regrets about giving Finn such free rein over the itinerary. We’re staying in his mom’s basement most of the weekend, because she is an actual angel on earth and hostess with the mostest delicious homemade cinnamon rolls. But tonight, we’re revisiting our relationship’s roots—and giving some of the group a more rustic experience than they bargained for.
“It’s beautiful out here,” Reese says, looking around at the leaves in all shades of red, orange, yellow. A few lingering green, some brown too. All of it combining to create a ridiculously picturesque Fall In Vermont Experience.
Hopefully that’ll cushion the blow when I have to tell her about packing out your used toilet paper.
“Yeah, you all came at the perfect time,” Finn says. “Pretty colors to see, but we won’t need to put heat packs in our sleeping bags just yet.”
“If anyone does get too cold tonight, you can borrow Reese,” Benny calls out. “She’s an actual furnace in her sleep.”
“I can’t help it!” Reese smacks her guy on the arm. He blows a kiss to her.
“And if anyone can’t fall asleep in total silence, you can borrow Natalie,” Finn adds, letting out an obnoxious fake snore I’m sure is like no sound I’ve ever made.
“My allergies have improved, I’ll have you know!” I shoot him a glare as the group dissolves into laughter.
Harper, Evan, Zeke, Finn, and I all carry the sleeping bags, tents, and almost everything else in our fancy backpacking packs that we got to keep after Wild Adventures. We’re only camping for one night, but eight people require a lot of stuff. And when I’d asked the other three what kind of luggage they were bringing, it was suitcases and small, school-size backpacks. So they’ve been responsible for their clothes and personal items, with the former Co-EdVenturers taking the bulk of the equipment and food.
Backcountry backpacking is not the easiest way to introduce my indoorsy friends to camping. But it is a fitting introduction to Finn Markum as a human.
A human who suddenly appears at my side, sliding his palm against mine and interlacing our fingers. I pretend I’m not going to accept after that snoring callout, but he isn’t fooled. The fun thing about being long distance most of the time is that small moments of real, tangible connection like this still give me butterflies.
“Hey.” He presses a quick kiss to my cheek, and I’m pretty sure I hear Reese let out a swooning sigh a few steps behind us. “We’re almost there. I promise you’re going to love it. I brought stuff for mushroom carbonara over the campfire for dinner.”
I raise a brow, impressed at this news. “Wow, throwback. Did you forage the shrooms yourself?”
He smirks. “Not this time. But I also brought heat packs in case temps do drop after all, and there’s plenty of water, and some decks of cards if anyone gets bored, and—”
“Hey,” I whisper, leaning in to his side as I give his hand a squeeze. “I’m supposed to be the anxious one here. Stop trying to steal my role.”
Finn huffs a soft laugh, still a little startled every time I poke fun at my own anxiety. A thing I’ve been doing more and more as I’ve come to terms with it. I’ve actually started to treat it with one of the college counseling center’s therapists since returning to school, and more recently, an outside psychiatrist she referred me to. I’m not on any meds yet, but it’s a possibility I’m exploring. And working with Lora, my therapist, has already changed the whole game.
I’m talking about things I never have with a professional, barely have with anyone but a select few who are all on this camping trip. My parents and difficult childhood, Granny Star, freshman year, the brain spirals and panic and ever-mounting list of worries all come up. Our biweekly sessions, covered in my tuition and fees, lessen the weight I’ve been carrying like twelve completely full backpacking packs at once, for all these years.
And make it easier for me to find a way to laugh through it, like I do with everything in my life, good or bad. No longer am I laughing to hide the hard stuff.