Page 33 of Of Course, Cutie
I shoved his chest. “Do. I. Look. Like. A. Child?” I asked through gritted teeth.
Burke groaned and looked up at the ceiling. “No, Charlie, you don’t. You look like a grown-ass woman, and you make me hard as hell! You’re sexy and smart, and I want to bend you over this damn crate and fuck you right now!” He pointed to the wooden crate against the far wall. “But I won’t do it. I won’t be a fucking creep and take that first time from you.”
“You’re not taking it! I’m giving it to you!”
“Give it to some twenty-two-year-old with a nice smile!”
“I don’t want to!”
“You have to! That’s how losing your virginity works!”
I folded my arms and glared at him. “Okay, Burke. I’ll let some asshole fuck me in his dorm room, hurt me, make me bleed, and leave me one hundred percent unsatisfied. Then I’ll call you, and you can have his sloppy seconds because guess what? I’m still going to want you!”
Burke let out an angry growl. “Like hell I’m going to let some asshole hurt you!”
I smirked and unfolded my arms. “So we agree, then? You’re going to take what I’m offering, Burke?”
He shot me a glare. “I didn’t say that either.”
I rolled my eyes and dug Tess’s Christmas present out of my bag. “Fine. Call me when you figure out that we’re good together and our ages don’t matter. I’ll be waiting for you because I don’t want anyone else.” I pressed the gift bag into his arms. “This is for Tess. It’s a purple bear, with a pink dress. She’ll appreciate the joke.”
Burke held the bag with one hand and rubbed his beard with the other, trying not to smile. “You got my daughter a Christmas present.”
“Yep. Bye.” I turned to leave, but he caught my wrist.
“Why don’t you give it to her yourself? I have her tomorrow night for dinner.” His intense green eyes roamed my body, and he lowered his voice. “She’s not spending the night.”
My heart rammed against my ribcage, and I gulped. “Okay.”
Burke pressed the bag back into my arms and caught my lips in a quick, biting kiss. “I must be crazy, cutie.” Then he brushed past me and headed back out to the bar.
Did that mean he would take my virginity for Christmas?
???
My family had an early Christmas Eve dinner so that Evan could get back to the bar. He wanted to keep it open on Christmas Eve to give the people with no families a place to go. He was going to tend the bar himself and play therapist while Sienna sang Christmas carols.
It was kind of adorable, and it made me love the shit out of my brother.
It also meant that I’d be able to attend Burke’s Christmas Eve dinner with Tess. I was so nervous that I could hardly eat, even though my mom was a fantastic cook. She made the whole Christmas Eve dinner again — we’d skipped it last year because it hadn’t felt right without dad— smoked ribs, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and fresh orange rolls. I wanted to eat everything, but my nerves were making it impossible. I pushed the food around my plate until Evan and Sienna announced that they were leaving.
“We’ll be back in the morning.” Evan pulled us all in for hugs, then headed out the door.
I rushed up the stairs and locked myself in my bedroom to put on my black lace bra and panty set under my jeans and sweater. Would matching underwear make me look like I was trying too hard? My heart pounded so violently that I could feel it in my stomach.
I slid into the lingerie and stared at my reflection in my floor-length mirror. Did I look like a child? Would Burke still want me once he saw all of me? This was a huge step. Was I ready?
Stop it, Charlie. You’re hot, and you’re a grown-ass woman.
I put my clothes back on and dug my broken eyeliner pencil out of my makeup drawer. Matteo said it made my eyes pop, and Burke liked my eyes. I let out a deep breath and smoothed my hair. Then I grabbed Tess’s present off my dresser and hurried down the stairs.
I paused by the car tree and felt an all too familiar ache. It was the ache of missing my dad. There was nothing else like it in the world.
I let a few tears escape and slid off the red convertible I’d chosen when I was ten. Tess loved the car tree idea. I wanted to pass it on to her. It felt like keeping my dad alive by passing on his memories and traditions. I slipped the car ornament into Tess’s bag, wiped my tears, and turned to leave.
Bea stopped me right as I was about to escape out the front door. “Charlie, It’s Christmas Eve! Where are you going?” Bea frowned at me from the top of the stairs. Sophia was perched on my sister’s hip, dressed in a candy cane-striped onesie and sucking on her fingers.
“I have to drop off a gift for a friend’s daughter. I’ll be back in a few hours!” I hurried up the stairs to kiss Sophia. She patted my cheek with her slobbery fingers and gave me a cheesy grin. “Night night, baby girl! I’ll see you in the morning!”