Page 59 of Tell Me No Lies

Piper gives me a one shouldered shrug. “Fine then.” I know her well enough to know she's not giving up, but what she says next stops me in my tracks. “If I can't touch you, then I’m going to have to say you can't touch me either.”

I blink, not quite sure I've heard her right. “What?”

Piper lifts both hands along with her shoulders in a more pronounced shrug. She blows out a breath and shakes her head like there's no alternatives available in the situation. “I understand where you're coming from, really I do.” She gives me a sweet smile. “Which is why I’ve decided if I can't touch you, then you're not going to get to touch me.” The angle of her lips tilts into a sly slant. “It's only fair.”

“I —” I don't know what to say to that. Never in my life has a woman rejected my offer of pleasure without reciprocation. Not a single fucking time. “I don't think you understand what I'm offering you, Sugar.”

Piper's brows lift and she nods, face a mask of complete sweetness. “I do understand. You want me to lay in bed and do nothing.” She holds up one hand and starts counting her fingers as she lists out her grievances. “I don't get to touch you. I don't get to lick you. I don't get to suck you. And I sure as hell don't get to choke on your cock.” Her hand tucks into her armpit as both arms cross over her chest. “You're the one who doesn't seem to be understanding what I'm saying.”

I hold her glare as I rock my jaw from side to side. “I can't do what you want, Piper.”

“You don't know that because you haven't even tried.” She looks me up and down. “Maybe if you'd given it a shot just once, I might believe you when you say you can't do it.” She shrugs yet again, but this time the motion is much more exaggerated. “But you haven't, so I don't.”

I don't want to have this argument. I'm exhausted. Ready to get my hands on her and hear the sounds I drag through her lips. I'm ready to watch her come undone as many times as I can manage and then fall asleep next to her knowing I've given her all I can. But I can tell from the set of Piper’s jaw and the squaring of her shoulders, she’s not gonna give this up. She's made up her mind, and no one will be able to change it. Especially me.

Normally I love how stubborn she is. Love the way she digs in and fights tooth and nail for what she wants. It's one of the main reasons I know she's mine. But I wish she was just a little more agreeable right now.

Blowing out a breath, I drop my head, letting it fall forward as I try to digest the truth. Piper's right. I do want to make her happy. I do want to give her what she wants. But what she wants is going directly against what I need. Not want. Need.

To my surprise, Piper comes closer, her hands soft as they smooth up the center of my chest. “I know this is hard for you. I know how much you need to prove to yourself you aren't like your father.”

My head snaps up, eyes meeting hers.

Piper gives me a smile just as gentle as her touch. “Why do you look so surprised? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what's going on.” She strokes over my skin, following a path across my shoulders and down my arms, hooking her hands around my wrists to pull my arms to her back. “But here's the thing, you couldn't be like him even if you wanted to.” Her eyes move over my face, expression earnest. “This whole time, I thought I was the one who would struggle to be around the IGL people, but it was miserable for you. You can’t understand how men can be like that. It drove you fucking crazy seeing me have to pretend to be something I’m not.” Her hands lift to my face, palms pressing against my cheeks. “And if you're not letting me touch you out of some sort of fucked-up self-inflicted punishment for shit you haven't even done, then I’m about to be real freaking mad.”

She leans into me, looping her arms around my neck. “I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I get a little out of pocket when I get mad. And chances are good I will drive to wherever the fuck you came from so I can start setting things on fire to make myself feel better.” She pushes up on her toes, brushing her lips against mine. “So maybe, instead of that, we can take a little baby step.” Her lips make another pass over mine. “What if you let me make you feel just a little bit good. See what you think. If it's as torturous and miserable as you seem to think it will be, I won't inflict that sort of trauma on you ever again.” She leans back, lifting her brows. “Deal?”

Rejecting her offer should be easy, but Piper’s read on the situation means she can see right through me. That means she knows that deep down there’s nothing I want more in this world than for her to touch me. To reach for me. To show me that wanting those things doesn’t make me the monster I’ve been running from my whole life.

I drop my forehead to hers, breathing deep. “I just don’t want you to think—”

“I know what you don’t want me to think, and you know damn well I don’t think that.” Her dark eyes roll up to meet mine. “And it’s not really me you’re worried about, is it?”

Once again, she’s proving just how well she sees me. Just how well she understands the fucked-up parts of me. “I can’t let myself be like them, Piper. I can’t.”

“That’s good, because you couldn’t be like them if you tried.” Her expression grows stern. “And you did try, remember?” Her lips twitch into a hint of a smile. “You were terrible at it.”

A little of my fear ebbs at the reminder, the emotion replaced by anger. “I didn’t like seeing you have to be like that.”

Her whole face lights up. “And that’s why I can promise you have nothing to worry about.” Her arms unwind from my neck, hands sliding back over my chest. “I could crawl under your desk at the shop and suck your dick every day and you would still never be anything like them.”

I groan at the visual she’s put in my head, unable to stop my body’s reaction to her words.

“I could give you a handjob in the shower before we leave every morning, and not a single person would ever compare you to those men.” Her touch roams lower, fingers brushing over the waistband of my jeans. “Do you know why?”

I’m caught up in the picture she’s painting for me. Not just of the things she wants to do to me, but the setting she’s put them in. Us being together. In my shop. In my home. Showering together. Sleeping together. Working together. And I want more. More of how she sees our future. More of how she sees us.

“Why?”

“Because healthy relationships aren’t one-sided.” She flips the button of my pants open and slowly lowers the zipper. “We’ve both seen what happens when they are, and it’s held us back.” Piper’s warm fingers brush over the patch of skin just above the waistband of my underwear. “And I don’t want to hold back with you. I definitely don’t want you to hold back with me.”

I suck in a breath as she dips her hand under the elastic, sliding down to grip the length of my straining cock. It tests my strength and my willpower, just like everything else she does.

I’ve been touched before on occasion, but I always made sure the contact was short-lived and fleeting. Made sure I never used a woman in any way. So this—allowing Piper to touch me how she wants—goes against everything I’ve always done. It breaks the rule I laid down to ensure I never looked in the mirror and saw my worst nightmare staring back at me.

I groan when her grip tightens, working my length as much as she can within the confines of my jeans. The motion snaps me out of the stupor she's lulled me into, and I slide both hands to her back, unhooking the clasp of her bra before dragging it down her arms and leaving it to dangle at the wrist peeking out of my jeans.

Her pants are next, and I make quick work of shoving them down. I want to touch her as much as I want her touching me, so as soon as they've cleared her hips, my hand is between her thighs, fingers dragging along her slit. I groan again, both from the feel of her on my hand, and the feel of her around my cock. “You're already wet, Sugar.”