Page 74 of Click
Something is up with Carson. Ever since this morning, he’s been running hot and cold. It makes my stomach squirm because I realize how much I don’t know about him. We just sort of crashed into each other on that kink app and there are moments where I feel like I’m blurring lines between the Dom/sub dynamic I thought we were in, and an actual relationship that I wish we were in.
It’s not all on me. He’s the one who keeps inviting me places. I’ve just been all too eager to stay with him for as long as possible and don’t tell him no.
We click. I like it. I like being around him. I like how much we laugh and get along. I’m more myself around him than I am around most of the people in my life, except for Leah. I know it’s too soon to call this more than infatuation, but other words for what I feel when I’m around Carson hang on the tip of my tongue. And they’re big words with big feels.
I could easily fall in love with this guy. He’s sweet, caring, observant, fun, successful, and hot as sin.
I feel connected to him, except I don’t know him at all. I’m only going off how I feel when I’m in his space. That’s not okay. It’s confusing and scary. It’s dangerous. My heart is getting closer and closer to being put on the line, and I don’t know what I’ll do if he ends this soon.
Part of me suspects he’s got similar concerns. Carson keeps putting walls up, whether he realizes it or not, and I have no clue why or what for. Should I ask? Should I point out that his body language is different when I touch him in certain ways? Should I bring up my feelings? Should I tell him to just take me home now so he’s not obligated to do it later?
His forearm flexes on the steering wheel while he drives with one hand, the other rests on my thigh. There’s a stack of leather bracelets and one beaded one on his wrist, all black. I like that he’s touching me in a semi-possessive way. Placing my hand over his, I entwine our fingers together, taking note of how small mine are compared to his. I love how we look together. How we fuck together. How we dance and laugh and eat and chill out together.
“You okay?” I can’t stop worrying that this will end too soon.
Carson flicks his gaze at me. “Yeah, you?”
“Yeah.” It’s not a lie. “I just feel like…” I stop myself from saying more as he pulls onto his street.
“You feel like what, Mak?”
My belly squirms again. “I’m hungry.” What a cop-out and a half. I don’t want to admit that I can’t understand what’s going on between us. Maybe I’m just reading into things and overthinking too much.
“Do you like chicken enchiladas?”
“Love them.”
A smile bursts across his face as he pulls into his driveway. “Then that’s what we’ll have for dinner.”
Some of the tightness in my chest eases as we enter his home. It smells like vanilla cake in here and I love it. Carson drops his camera bag on the couch and tells me to sit back and get comfortable while he heads to the kitchen. “Want some help?”
“No, I want you to just relax. It won’t take me long.”
“Okay.” Pulling out my phone, I check my notifications on Instagram first. I’m not a big bookstagrammer by any means, but I love making posts and hyping authors up. With all the photos I took today, I’m hoping it’ll gain me more followers because they are absolute fire. I was spoiled today with all of Carson’s equipment and props. How will I ever go back to my regular book photos after this?
I open up my albums to grab the first photo to post on Insta and freeze when I see the video of Carson and I posing on the bed. Tapping it, I watch with my mouth watering. Damn, we look so good together. His hands are all over me, hungry and possessive. His dark hair falls into his eyes when he bends down to nip my shoulder.
I swallow hard, my pussy getting wet as I keep watching us together.
Click. I screenshot part of the video. Click, click. I keep doing it. Each pic is hotter than the last. Blowing one up, I crop it, and mess with the light exposure. I’m by no means a professional photographer like Carson, but I’m pretty handy with the filters on my phone.
“Wowwy zowwy.” We make a really hot couple.
Wait. Is that what we are? What do you call this dynamic? Does it even have a title?
I feel him before I see him behind me. Grinning hard, I lift my cell to show him a banging picture of the two of us I just screenshot. “We look insanely hot together, don’t we?”
Carson looks at the photo, then at me, then at the screen again. His face turns beet red. His jaw ticks when he clenches his teeth.
Oh no. I’ve overstepped a line I didn’t realize was there. “I’ll delete them if you want me to. I…”
He shakes his head and turns away, but I quickly grab his arm. “Carson.” He yanks out of my flimsy grip. Anger and frustration flare inside me. “What’s wrong?”
I don’t sound as concerned as I do mad.
“Nothing.” He storms back into the kitchen, leaving me two choices: follow or stay.
It takes me a little too long to decide and by then, my heart’s jack hammering. This is not how two grown adults act. Tearing into the kitchen, I’ve got a million arguments ready to fire while he has his back to me and is chopping cilantro.