Page 35 of It Hurts Me
“Why did you lose your home?”
“Couldn’t make the mortgage, so it was repossessed by the bank.” I took the possessions that mattered most but lost the rest. “Slept on a friend’s couch for a while. The years after that were one struggle after another. Tried to make it as an artist, but I was just broke and hungry. My dad had a life insurance policy, but the company didn’t honor it because he killed himself. I don’t think he’d anticipated that.”
He didn’t make another negative comment about my father. He seemed to have let that go.
“I got a job at the gallery and finally got my own apartment. Then I met my husband shortly after, got married, and moved in to his place.” All the wealth I had came from him. He elevated me from rags to riches. I used to consider myself lucky to marry for love, and the money was just a perk. But the wealth did drastically change my life. I never worried about money or bills or car repairs. All the money I earned at the gallery was just extra spending money that I didn’t need. I worked a job because I wanted to, not because I had to, and that was the ultimate sign of privilege.
Theo listened to every word I said. His eyes didn’t glaze over like he’d lost interest. He was with me in every moment, in every word I spoke, entranced by the mundane mediocrity of my life. “The death of your father was the most defining moment of your life…”
My eyes locked on his.
“We all have moments like that. If that moment hadn’t happened or if it’d been different…what else would have been different?”
I couldn’t imagine how different my life would have been. I probably would have lived with my dad for a long time, not because I needed to, but because I wouldn’t have wanted to leave him alone until he was ready to be on his own. Or maybe I wouldn’t have left at all because I enjoyed spending time with him. There wouldn’t be nearly as many notches on my bedpost. Wouldn’t be so many scars on my heart. “What’s your moment?”
His eyes shifted slightly.
“The moment that changed your life.”
He considered the question for a long time, letting the silence hang heavy between us. “I have more than one.” His big arms crossed over his chest. “The first was when I lost the family business to a fire…and had nothing left. I needed money, and I didn’t care how I earned it. If that hadn’t happened, I probably wouldn’t be who I am now.”
“And the other moment?”
All he did was give a slight shake of his head. “That one…dies with me.”
Theo motioned for the tab, and it was brought to him instantly because it’d been sitting in the front pocket of the waiter’s apron. Theo opened the folder and dropped a wad of cash inside.
“I want to pay for this one.”
He closed the folder and stared at me.
“You’re one of those guys who insists on paying for everything?”
“You mean a man?” he asked quietly. “Yes, I am.” He left the folder at the edge for the waiter to take.
“Why are you paying if you own the place?”
“Just easier this way. Bookkeeping purposes.”
“Well, thank you for dinner…again.”
He grabbed his scotch and took a drink.
“Wow, baby. Look who it is.”
I turned to the man who approached our table, a six-foot-something fine piece of man with a nice smile. A woman was on his arm in a skintight black dress. She wore a wedding ring on her left hand, and she smiled at me.
Theo released a quiet sigh.
The man moved to Theo and gripped him by the shoulder. “A very nice surprise.” He looked at me then reached his hand forward. “Axel—Theo’s brother. And this fine piece of ass right here is my wife, Scarlett.”
Her cheeks flushed deep red, and she quickly rolled her eyes. “Nice to meet you.” She extended her hand to shake mine.
“You too,” I said. “I’m Astrid.”
Axel turned to the waiter. “Pull up two chairs. We’ll be joining them?—”
“We were just leaving,” Theo said, giving him that don’t-fuck-with-me look.