Page 42 of Save Me
“This is bullshit!” Xander practically spits as he slaps the paper with the back of his hand. “There is no way this would hold up in court, or anywhere!”
“It doesn’t matter,” I explain, “if I don’t do what he says, my family loses everything. He already legally owns all of it, so he has nothing to lose. And apparently, whatever this Mayfield is, once you’re in, you don’t escape. Once I marry him, I’m stuck…in Perpetuum!”
“It does matter!” Xander jumps down to my level again so he can grip hold of my hands inside of his. “It means you don’t have to do this. Beth, you don’t have to do this!” He takes a moment to swallow hard before looking deep into my eyes. “Tell me you didn’t give it to him today.”
“No,” I reply but with a crimson blush fast spreading over the memory of Oliver touching me. “He’s saving that for our wedding night. But…” I trail off to sniff back fresh cries because I feel so ashamed and so dirty over what happened. I was powerless to stop him, to defend myself because he owns me; he can do to me as he wishes.
“He touched me!” I eventually whimper. “I didn’t like it, but I couldn’t stop him. He slammed his lips onto mine and pretty much told me I would be expected to meet all of his…needs once we’re married. And I don’t want to. I didn’t like it. How am I supposed to…oh, God!”
“Motherfucker!” Bodhi mutters from behind me, while Xander clenches his fists and turns his face away from me, as though he’s trying to hide the Hulk from within. I’ve not seen him look this angry before, not even when I had upset him after my near drowning, or when I told him I had to sleep with Oliver.
“Hey! Xander!” Bodhi whisper-shouts over the top of my head. “Pull it together, man. He’s not here, she is!”
Xander shuts his eyes, takes in a few deep breaths, then nods his head slowly, as if trying to calm down in front of me.
“You’re not marrying him, Beth!” Xander finally mutters to me, as if saying those words out loud will seal the deal. “You hear me? You’re not giving yourself up for anyone!”
“What choice do I have, Xander?” I shout, suddenly feeling the need to stand and face him on an even level. “Please tell me; I’m all ears!”
“This isn’t your responsibility,” he argues, “it’s your father’s fault! I would also bet your mother would want to know about you self-sacrificing yourself.”
“Really?! You’re telling me you wouldn’t do the same thing if it were your family, your sister’s home at risk?”
“That’s different,” he snaps, “I’m a…and you’re a…”
“For fuck’s sake, man!” Bodhi almost laughs but ends up shaking his head with his hand covering his face instead. “Let me go and find a shovel, so you can dig yourself a little deeper.”
“I love that you care,” I tell him, feeling the grace of a smile for the first time since getting back from the house of hell, and walk over to place my hands on top of his. “But this is my responsibility. I have to do this, so please…” I pause to take a long breath to help swallow back another threatening sob before I say my next, heart-crushing words, “…find someone else and forget about me. I’m lost; he owns me.”
Reluctantly, though feeling proud of myself for doing the right, sensible thing, I step away from him. However, before I can get out of reach, he grabs me and pulls me inside of his arms and with one hand, he cups my face and strokes a wayward tear from my cheek. Butterflies begin dancing to an erratic rhythm around my chest, just before he leans in to bridge the already tiny gap between us and presses his soft lips against mine. My first real kiss; one that lives up to all my teenage girl romantic dreams.
His gentle kiss makes me momentarily forget about everything, and within moments, I give into it and lift my hands to grip around the back of his neck. It only encourages him to push between my lips and caress my mouth with his skilled tongue. This kiss is the complete opposite to Oliver’s aggressive assault from earlier. This is what my first kiss should have been, not Oliver’s intrusive one. As I run my fingers through his hair, he moans and holds me tighter, fisting my soggy dress tightly within his hands.
Bodhi emits a fake cough, forcing us to finally break apart, but not before looking at each other with such intensity, no further words are necessary. Bodhi merely chuckles over our teenage lust, as though he could have foreseen this happening from the very moment when he had seen us together at the hospital.
“Well, this doesn’t further complicate things, does it?” he jokes.
“I’ve gotta go,” I whisper, realizing that Bodhi is right and giving into our kiss was incredibly unfair on both of us. “I don’t want Mal to tell Oliver I haven’t returned home yet.”
“Then I’m taking you,” Xander says with such a tone, no one dare argue with him, not even me; especially not me.
“But-” I at least attempt to argue, but as could have been predicted, Xander is having none of it.
“No arguments, Moneypenny,” he growls, “and if Daddy wants to say something about it, I will have a few choice words for him too.”
My mouth opens to stubbornly try and argue, but he’s already walking in the direction of his car, taking my bag, shoes, and hand with him. I look back with pleading eyes toward Bodhi, but all I get is a toothy grin and a wave of his hand. Things have just got epically more difficult for me!
The drive back to my house is quiet, tense, and a little dramatic with the storm in full swing all around us. It reminds me of driving up to the cliff tops to watch the thunder and lightning over the raging English Channel. It would be full of people standing against the wind and rain to watch nature at its best.
“Xander, this is crazy!” I eventually puff out. “After everything I’ve told you, why are you choosing me to go after?”
“I’m not after you anymore, Beth,” says with his trademark smirk. He Keeps his eyes fixed on the road before him, but gently places his warm hand on top of my thigh. “I have you now, and I’m keeping you. You can’t help who you fall for, Moneypenny.”