Page 71 of Save Me
My rampant pacing is paused for one terrifying moment when I don’t hear an instant ‘no’ from her. When she eventually shakes her head, I let out a long breath of thanks. To whom, I have no idea, because whoever is watching over my Beth is doing a pretty piss-poor job of it.
When she tells me about all the fucked-up people she had met, including her grandfather, the infamous Carl Steele, I make a mental note of some of their names so I can ask my uncle about them. However, then she tells me about Oliver strangling her, his batshit crazy reason for doing it, and admitting that he had crawled into bed with her like the pervert he is, I lose hold of my senses for a moment. That last admission breaks me, and for a few, fleeting seconds, I feel like I can’t do this anymore.
“I won’t think anything bad of you, Xander, if you want to walk away from me,” she says confidently, but with heavy tears already falling down her face. “You don’t need to put yourself through this. I understand if this is too much to deal with because I…” She pauses and closes her eyes, so I brace myself for what new hell is going to come out next. “I asked him to squeeze tighter last night, to end it. I knew that if he did it would make things a hell of a lot easier.”
Thoughts of leaving her, or not being with her, disappear completely as I rush straight over to grip hold of her trembling shoulders.
“Don’t you ever say that again, Beth!” I snap as I shake her a little. “I am all in, there’s no one but you, and if you give up, you’ll take me down with you. Do you hear me?”
She lets out a strangled sob that I silence by holding her against my chest, feeling frustrated beyond words that this is happening and that she’s now beginning to give up on us, on hope.
I don’t even know what time it is when I realize we’ve been lying down on her father’s old, leather couch, silently contemplating everything that we don’t have any control over. I kiss her now and then, stroking her arm, but we do nothing more than this. Today doesn’t seem right for anything more passionate. Today, she needs comfort, and I am the one who’s going to deliver on it. If nothing else, it cements how I feel about her, but also makes me feel like a complete bastard for even considering walking away from her.
Chapter 24
Beth
The minutes are sluggishly ticking by, as though time has slowed down with each and every word sputtering out of Miss French’s mouth as she rambles on about Iambic pentameter. Her passion for Shakespeare does nothing to enthuse me; the only thought on my mind is of meeting my friend, Kai, for lunch in precisely seven and a half minutes.
Since my weekend at Casa del Lawrence, which has prompted me to never want to watch a period drama ever again, I’ve been unable to track him down. He’s been unusually quiet, sullen, and has been causing me to worry about my usually flamboyant friend. We’ve texted, but even those have been monosyllabic, with nothing more exceptional than text speak or the odd emoji. Sometimes I fear that I’m so wrapped up in my own bad situation, that I’m missing important stuff with my friends.
The bell shocks me with its shrill ring across the room, making me come to in amongst the chaos of everyone heading to lunch, with Miss French leading the hungry masses. By the time I get inside the hall, Kai is already in our usual spot with a couple of waters and a mishmash of picky foods. As well as both being outcasts, we’re both grazers and happy to be so. I take a moment to pause and smile at the familiar sight, reveling in the normalcy of the scene before me. However, when I see his sad eyes, I physically gasp over how exhausted and forlorn he looks.
“What’s going on?” I ask with a no-nonsense tone of voice. “This isn’t the Kai I know and love.”
He sighs for a long while, prolonging the admission of what has been going on with him, and why he’s looking so destroyed. When he eventually manages to voice anything, it knocks the wind right out of me.
“My father has been having an affair,” he murmurs as quietly as he can while staying within the human hearing range.
My mouth gapes open in shock for a few unhelpful moments before I round the table to sit beside him and squeeze his slumped shoulders in comfort. I knew his parents went to weekly therapy sessions, but from the way he spoke about them, I assumed they were like one of those perfect couples who had designated date nights and adult-only holidays. Hearing that his father has been cheating on his mother must be a major blow for someone as deep and sensitive as Kai, even if he does try to hide behind humor.
“Mom’s devastated but after days of arguing and going around in circles, they’ve decided to stick together.”
“I’m so sorry, Kai,” I whisper, wincing over the cliché sentiment. “But at least they’re sticking together, right?”
He merely shrugs while he plays with his bottle of water, twirling the base in circles and staring into the space beyond it.
“Do you know who the other woman is?” I ask awkwardly, and only because I have no idea what else to say.
“A client, apparently,” he says, then sighs as he leans back, shaking his head over the thought of it. “Someone married to a guy he advises for.” Kai’s father is a financial whizz and owns his own company as an advisor, with several of his clients being parents of students who attend this very school. “None of us know her so I guess that’s something.”
“Did he just open up one day or did something happen?”
“Her husband found out and marched right into my dad’s office building in town, just in time for my mom visiting during his lunch hour,” he explains, dramatically rolling his eyes over the coincidence. “The guy let it all out and began chucking his weight around, telling him he would destroy him. This was then followed by a load of death threats!”
“Shit!” I say rather unhelpfully, though he nods along as if in agreement. “Your poor mum! She’s obviously a lot more forgiving than I would be.”
“I know,” he mumbles before blowing out a long breath, “I can’t say I can even think about forgiving him at the moment.”
Not much else is said between us, but he knows I’m here for him and I understand his silence is nothing to do with me. He’s just not ready to talk to anyone yet.
Friday soon arrives and for once, I’m excited about the weekend, knowing that my usual Sunday dinner with Oliver has been canceled and I don’t have any weird parties to attend. It is completely mine to do with as I please, which means hanging out with Mum and sneaking Xander in and out of the house. I might even go and see Bodhi and Annie for gossip around the bonfire at the beach, my happy place.
In fact, when I think about it, I haven’t heard from my intended all week. Besides Leo remaining firmly fixed at my side, it’s been as though all of it was just a bad dream. Perhaps a bad reaction to food poisoning that had me hallucinating about control freaks blackmailing me into joining their weird, outdated cult.
On my walk home from school, I begin to let myself hope that maybe Oliver has lost interest in me, that Felicity Marsdon has managed to talk him into marrying her instead. However, when I reach the end of my driveway, my heart sinks when I spy his black Aston Martin. Before I even put my key inside of the door, Oliver opens it with a wolfish grin, the sight of which causes me to literally jump back in shock.
His usual business suit is missing, and in its place is a pair of dark jeans, black boots, and a thin, navy V-neck sweater; something that wouldn’t look amiss on board a luxury yacht in a Ralph Lauren catalog.