Page 12 of Save Us

I try to reach out for her with everything I have in me, but it’s never enough to get to her, to touch her. It always feels like my boots are weighted to the ground and I’m wading through glue. I only get so close before he rips her off from the ground and devours her, right in front of me while she screams for help, for a mercy he never gives.

At this point, when I’m close to ripping myself to pieces, I always wake with a gasp and a sheen of sweat covering every inch of my body. Instead of feeling relief from it, I feel close to dying, like I can’t seem to get enough air into my lungs, and my heart could give out at any moment. It’s tortuous, soul-destroying, and takes everything out of me.

But tonight, I want this, I need this, because tomorrow…tomorrow I’m going to be coming face to face with the motherfucker. For the first time in five years, I’m going to look into his eyes and tell him that I’m going to ruin him.

Chapter 5

Beth

It’s late, I’m tired, but I don’t want to shut my eyes. I know when I open them again, it will be time for me to go and leave this cozy house behind me. A home that feels safe, warm, and like my own once upon another lifetime ago. Kai’s mom and sister have already given in and gone to bed. In fact, they slipped off hours ago. But my best friend, Kai, is still with me. He’s ditched the intimidating black clothing, put on an old pair of glasses, and is lying alongside me on top of his bed. If only Oliver could see me now, sharing a bed with another man. A man who is the head of a gang which, according to Kai, has been at war with Mayfield for years. The thought has me finally braving it to ask him how on earth he became one of the most feared men in New York.

“So,” I begin with a sheepish grin.

“So,” he repeats, smiling like he knows what’s coming.

“How, Kai? How did you fall into all of this?” I ask as I wave my hand around in the air, as if gesturing to all that he has become.

“Can’t believe it took you this long to ask,” he laughs at me. I nudge him with my hand before he catches it and brings it to his lips for a quick kiss. “It’s a long story.”

“Oh, well, in that case, forget it,” I tease, “I’m really tired!” I make a show of yawning and stretching. “Tell me!” I moan at him when he laughs.

“Well, as you can imagine, life was hard when I first arrived here, living with nan in a new house, getting over my father’s death, as well as his affair. You know, the normal stuff.” He jokes but I can tell it’s still raw, even after all these years. “My mom wasn’t very responsive to anyone or anything. Serena took over caring for nan while I tried to engage with mom, to make her snap out of her pain, if only for a little bit. School was completely alien to me. I mean, it’s not like I was well accepted at Fairfield, but I was never threatened in any way. People knew I was gay, opinionated, intelligent, and they dealt with it. Oh, and not forgetting uber handsome of course.”

“Of course!” I smile at him as he tries to laugh away the sadness.

“Well, after a few weeks, I started getting abuse from some of the other students, both verbal and physical,” he says, and I reach out to hug him. “Then, one day, I was attacked by four guys from my homeroom. Without giving you the gory details, let me just say, I couldn’t get out of bed for a few days. I’ll admit, I was pretty terrified of going back. Serena wanted to tell Mom, but I made her swear not to. Mom was so out of it, she hadn’t noticed. Nan told me to give them, and I quote, ‘a good kick in the pants!’”” We both laugh but I get what he’s trying to say; he was all alone. “God, and I missed you, Beth! I kept thinking about how much I had had with you back in Fairfield, even when we had to sneak around because of Oliver. You are the closest friend I’ve ever had.”

“I’ll always be your friend, Kai,” I whisper as I wipe away one of his escaped tears.

“When I went back to school, I felt like someone was starting to follow me,” he continues, now holding onto me just as tightly as I’m holding onto him. “On the way to school, during school, walking home, at the weekends, there was always this feeling of unease about me.”

“Was it one of the ones who hurt you?” I ask when he falls silent for a moment or two.

“No!” he replies almost instantly. “It was someone who saved my life.”

“How so?” I ask with my brow furrowed with curiosity, encouraging him to go on.

“In so many ways, Beth,” he says, smiling big and genuine, looking almost giddy.

“You found love, Kai?” I ask with hope in my eyes, but when his smile fades, I know this isn’t a happy love story. My own smile drops, and I hold him close to me. “Tell me about him. All of it.”

“A few weeks after those guys attacked me, they caught me again,” he begins, “pulled me back against the wall, began to shout all kinds of shit at me. Not that I cared what they thought about me. But when they mentioned Serena, my face couldn’t betray how important she was to me. The main guy, a big hulk of a dude, laughed a laugh that will haunt me forever. Even now, with a whole gang behind me, and a reputation that would make the turd quiver in his boots, I still can’t forget it. That laugh told me what he would do to my sister given half the chance. His words weren’t necessary, just that laugh.”

“He didn’t do any-“

I begin with fear in my voice, but thankfully, he cuts me off with a shake of his head.

“No, my baby sister was safe the minute the man who saved me put a gun to that guy’s temple and threatened to blow him away to pieces. Said he’d kill him slowly, sending a piece a day to his mother and his three older sisters. He said, ‘Be careful what you say because whatever you threaten his sister with, I’ll do the same to yours. Then, I’ll let my entire crew do the same.’ The guy froze, he was scared, you could tell, but the asshole still tried to act like the man in charge. However, Roman only had to tell him who his crew was to have him running away without a look back.”

“Roman? That was his name?” I ask, enjoying the look of pure adoration taking over his face, just from the mention of this man’s name.

“As you can imagine, I was close to shitting my pants. For all I knew, he was going to carry out those very same threats on me. ‘Relax’ he said in an accent that didn’t match the role he was playing. ‘I’m here to help you, Kaiden.’ He told me about his war against Mayfield and how he and his crew liked to keep constant watch over the comings and goings of men like Oliver and Carl Steele. Carl, in particular.”

“Did he know about me?”

He says nothing, just nods sadly.

“He told me who killed my father, Beth,” he says as I lean up to look inside of his sad eyes, “as well as who had ordered it.”