Page 116 of When Sky Breaks
Finally, I straighten and rest my body over the top of the cold passenger door, shivering from the sweat drying under my shirt. “Does Sky know?” I finally ask once I’ve gained control over my emotions and cleared my scratchy throat.
“Yeah. She does. She found it when she went looking for something my dad wanted but didn’t have the courage to open it until recently.”
I close my eyes.
Of course.
She must have found it with the file she had on her mom. Before doubt creeps in at the thought she knew before and didn’t tell me, Trek’s voice interrupts.
“August—” He pauses and shifts on the pavement, the rocks crunching under his feet.
I swipe the remaining liquid from under my eyes and train my gaze on the moon, making an appearance from behind a cloud. “Yeah?”
“I owe you a huge fucking apology.”
“No, it?—”
“Hey, please listen. I do.”
The chilly fall air kicks up and wraps around my face, cooling the warmth in my cheeks.
“I fucked up. I thought I was doing the right thing by Sky, and I just completely turned my back on you. You were my best friend, and I fucked it all up to save my ass.”
Overwhelmed, I let him expel all the pent-up feelings he has. Catharsis is exhausting, I think, as I turn my body to watch his chest heave.
“I watched you suffer and hold this—this secret and take the brunt of it all.”
“I let you.” A weak smile is all I can muster.
His fingers curl into fists at his sides. “You did and you shouldn’t have, but I was the asshole. I was fucked up from the moment my mom died, and I couldn’t see anything straight. You told me Sky was being hurt, and I just went with the first thing that made sense. I didn’t think about consequences for you or myself, anyone. All I wanted to do was feel after being so numb. If I helped someone get out of a bad situation, then great. It felt like something my mom would’ve been proud of, but it was the complete opposite. I didn’t feel anything but shitty.”
Shifting, he props his elbows on the top of the car, shaking his head, our shoulders brushing. “Jesus, I was such an idiot. When Sky showed up with Foster from Magnolia, I freaked out right along with you. It made sense at the time to pretend it didn’t happen, but, dude, I’m sorry. I made your life hell to keep Sky safe and yet it didn’t matter in the end. She still fell for you again and again. All I did was make you two waste five years apart from each other.”
“It’s okay.”
He gives me a light punch to the shoulder and scowls. I swear it looks just like the one Sky likes to dish me sometimes, and they’re not even blood-related.
“No, it’s not. Please don’t make me feel better. God, you and Sky are perfect for each other. She does the same damn thing. Tries to take care of others above her own feelings. You’re allowed to hate me. In fact, I encourage it. I know I deserve it.”
Those were the same words I issued to Sky. How ironic to hear them repeated for me.
Trek’s eyes glaze over in the moonlight.
We’re both a fucking mess.
Energized by the turn of events, I reach into the open car door, snatch the paper, and hold it to his face. “No. I’m done with all the self-loathing. From both of us. We each played a part. This proves we’re innocent of it all. We were kids, Trek. Just kids. If Sky has done anything, it’s shown us we’re still good people. We loved her enough to help her in whatever stupid way our kid brains made sense of her situation. But sitting here and expecting me to still hate you after all this time won’t happen. It won’t bring Chase back to Sky. It won’t make us feel any better.” I crinkle the paper in my hand. “I’m done. I’m tired of the guilt eating my soul alive. It’s been thirteen years. We’ve held this inside us for so long. I’m spent, man. So no, I’m not going to hate you.”
More silence blankets the space. The sun has officially set and the clouds have parted, revealing all the stars I love looking at in the country. If you’re lucky, far out in the boonies, you can see parts of the galaxy.
“That’s probably the most words I’ve ever spoken to you in my life, Moore.”
Chuckling, I nod. “Same to you.”
He holds out his fist. “Truce?”
I fist bump him. “You got it. Truce.”
After a few more minutes of absorbing this revelation, we both get back in, and Trek starts the car. He pulls out of the lot.