Page 78 of When Sky Breaks

“Chemistry is just chemicals.”

“You’re talking to a nurse. Of course, I know this, but…”

“But what? He hurt you. It’s hard for me to forget it, but seems a piece of cake for you.”

My teeth ache as I grind them. “It’s been far from it. In fact, I don’t think I’ve slept more than five hours a night since I’ve been back. But listen to me, please. Just listen.”

She sighs. “I’m here, babe.”

I squeeze my fingers around the steering wheel. Her resolve is weakening, just like mine. “I know you’re just looking out for me. But August makes me feel alive and safe. He’d do anything for me. You can’t sit here and tell me that Graham doesn’t do that for you?”

Phoebe talks, and finally, there’s a smile in her voice. “Graham is my person. He gets me. Now, he didn’t pull the shit August pulled on you, so it’s definitely a different experience.” Her sigh is heavy yet full of understanding. “But you two have always had this like special connection. Hard to explain, but it felt like you two belonged together.”

I’ve reached the driveway, so I park and lean my head on the rest, massaging the tight muscles in my neck. “Well, I’m not as mad at him anymore.”

Phoebe laughs. “That’s a good sign. I might not be like super duper excited about this, but all I’m gonna say is, take it slow. There’s no rush. Spend more time getting to know this version of August and see if he still makes you feel that way.”

“I think I still love him,” I whisper, the words crystalizing like ice on glass.

“It’s okay if you do, hun. Like I’ve said before, if you felt nothing for him, you wouldn’t have hated him for so long. Means he makes you feel something.”

Love and hate run parallel to each other. I hated August for what he did, but I think I’ve always loved him for who he is.

“Thank you. I’ve missed you and your sageness.”

She chuckles. “Babe, I got you. Keep me updated. I’m glad things are going well. I’m gonna need you to visit, though. I love Graham, but I need some Sky time.”

After making promises to see each other soon over the holidays, I hang up and sit in the car admiring the new shutters and new outside lamp, the glow warm against the dark sky.

She’s right—I should take it slow because although forgiveness is powerful, it doesn’t erase.

But the mere thought of releasing August from this wound unravels a string in my belly, unspooling the tension I’ve held so close to my heart.

It’s time to let go of the last threads of hate and hold on to love.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

august

The wind may be brisk, but as someone who’s used to being outside in the elements, it’s not a bother, even this late into the blustery afternoon.

I zip my jacket and shove my hands into the pockets once I enter the greenhouse portion of the flower shop. Open all year round, I greet the clerk on staff and peruse the fall selection. Overrun by mums, I walk up and down the aisle until I find what I think she’ll like.

There are still a few sunflowers and dahlias among the roses, so I gather a handful and ask the cashier to wrap them. Well aware of Sky’s relationship status and willing to ignore it to see her light up when I give these to her, I stride from the shop, bouquet in hand.

Friends can give flowers, right?

My feelings for her are obvious since I blurted them out for the world to hear, but what about hers? Am I imagining the electric current between us when we’re near each other? Is this merely more torture I’m supposed to endure, the girl I love just out of reach?

With unsure strides, I pass the Rusted Tavern’s huge front window and pause, squeezing the bouquet in my hand. Staring at the beautiful flowers, I almost choke. This is the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever had. She’s not even available and who’s to say she would even want me if she was?

Kiss or no kiss, Sky isn’t mine to woo or seduce or whatever else I planned on doing to earn her forgiveness.

It doesn’t work like that.

Glancing up, I shift my gaze to inside the restaurant, the warmth from the blazing fire roasting pork on spits curling around me even through the glass. Mouth watering, I’m tempted to stuff my feelings with comfort food. Before my hand makes it to the handle, I stiffen, my attention hovering over a pair inside.

Sky’s back is to me, but I’d notice her anywhere. There’s the sweep of golden hair nearly brushing her shoulders and her cozy purple knitted sweater. Jeans that hug her curves. She turns slightly, and the sheen of gloss on her lips makes me groan.