Page 38 of Perfectly Yours
I swallow carefully, shaking my head. “Just, can we go back to our seats?” Savin says nothing as we do just that and I happily munch on the mushroom things and then the cupcake cloud which is just as decadent as it looks. “Stop looking at me like that, Savin. What?”
“You’re uncomfortable here.”
“No, it’s just a lot. Macon said it would be a lot but it’s fine.” It’s not fine. I’m starting to shake, the anxiety of how many things I’ve kept from these two swirling around in my head. “Savin, seriously.” Even as the words leave my mouth, my breath catches in my throat and I choke on the remaining bits of the cupcake cloud. Tears gather in my eyes as I try to breathe, Savin’s eyes going wide beside me.
“Shit.” Just one word but it feels like everything is falling apart, which is a stupid thing to feel since I’m just having a panic attack. Savin pulls me to my feet and down a small hallway inches from our table that leads to the bathrooms. He sits me down on one of the expensive lounges resting across from the bathroom doors before crouching in front of me. “Breathe, Ellie. With me. 1, 2—there you go. Again. In, out. Angel, what’s wrong?”
I freeze at the pet name he’s given me. Savin hasn’t ever called me anything other than my name and I feel like we’ve simultaneously taken a step forward and three steps back. My entire life I’ve prided myself in how strong I am, how well I take care of myself, and how I always put my best foot forward. It’s why I’m currently studying for my second degree and living life the way I enjoy it best.
Now, I’m easy to tears and can’t imagine a life without these two men. I’ve fallen hard and it terrifies me. I have no idea how they’ll react to the information I’m holding back.
Savin rises to sit beside me, wrapping his arms around me, and tucks my head into the crook of his neck. “Rarely anyone comes back here except for staff. They all use the main bathrooms near the front. Macon will probably show up in a few minutes but tell me what is going on.” He reaches up to wipe a tear that has escaped down my cheek, patiently waiting for me to explain.
I stare down at my hands, picking at the skin beneath my nails. “Nathan knows. I—he saw us at the party a month ago and he comes to the club-” Savin’s little growl cuts me off and I burrow myself into his side, ashamed that Nathan’s words bothered me so much.
“What else?”
“The cameras.”
He kisses my forehead, humming a response. “I figured, but why? I would assume you’re used to a little attention from the clubs and private parties.”
“There’s been one outside my apartment and the club I think. It started Friday but I hear it and I can’t tell if it’s in my head or just… someone is watching me.” I pull away and smack at the tears running down my face, standing up just in case someone passes through here. The few moments holding onto Savin have worked wonders for my nerves but I won’t derail their career for a little comfort.
“Ellie? Savin? I saw you two disappear and-”
I throw my hands up as another wave of tears falls down my cheeks. I can’t stop them and I know from my research that this isn’t entirely normal—even for Betas. The hormones shouldn’t be this pronounced and the fact that I’m a crying wreck at my first event just makes me feel worse.
Macon stops a few feet from us, confused and unsure of how to approach. Savin stands, the three of us trying to figure out what happens next. Unable to face them with my last secret, I burst into the bathroom, hoping they won’t follow me in.
Just fucking tell them, you idiot.
I turn on one of the faucets, splashing my face with water several times until I feel like I can breathe again. I’m definitely not cut out for their life and fuck, it just started.
Chapter twenty-seven
MACON
Savin is staring at the bathroom door, wringing his hands together, his brows furrowed. His scent is chipped and I’m still confused as to what happened. “She’s hurting,” he whispers. I understand that much, just as I know that Savin is hurting as well. Neither one is in physical pain which makes it harder for me to figure out what to do.
It doesn’t help that I excused myself mid-conversation with the lead star, everyone’s eyes on me as I headed to the back of the venue to see where Savin and Ellie had gone. “What happened? You both seemed okay for a few moments and then-”
“She had a fucking panic attack. Macon, Ellie is dealing with so much and it’s our fault.” His lips curl up in a snarl, his gaze still trained on the bathroom. I step up to his side and wrap my arms around him, waiting until he melts against my chest. He’s still tense but at least he’s receptive to my touch. “Did you know that Nathan figured out about that night a month ago? He’s been going to the club and spouting shit to her.”
I tighten my hold on Savin, swallowing the sudden anger that tries to boil over. “Excuse me? I’m going to skin that fucker alive.”
“You can’t,” Savin whines. “Not unless we reveal what she means to us and Ellie isn’t ready for that. She says someone has been taking pictures of her at her house and work but, like paparazzi style. Whatever protection you promised her, she needs it now.”
I’m having a hard time keeping my head about this. There are too many people that want the scoop about our personal lives and with the timing, I can’t prove that this isn’t more of my mother’s doing. I don’t tell Savin that, though. He doesn’t need any more stress in his life. It’s already going to be a difficult night as it is. “Did she say anything else?”
Savin opens his mouth and then closes it, shaking his head but I can tell that there’s something else. I can’t fathom why he’d want to keep it a secret but I don’t push it. We hold each other for several moments, not moving until Ellie peeks her head out of the bathroom, her face a few shades lighter. The makeup is gone, Ellie slipping out and then standing there awkwardly.
Her gaze darts down the hall leading back to the venue before meeting my eyes. “Alpha, I—I’d like to go home. You said that this would be a big step for a first event and you were right. I shouldn’t have come.” I want to argue with her but there’s an emotion lingering in her expression that I can’t decipher. Something similar to uncertainty and anxiety. Ellie straightens her shoulders as she mentally puts up the walls that were there when we first met. We’ve stepped backward in this relationship of ours and it’s barely started.
Swallowing the words I want to say, I release Savin. “Of course, Ellie. Let’s get you home. No, don’t apologize. This world is a lot for anyone.”
Ellie huffs out a sigh and shakes her head. “You can stay. I’d be more comfortable going home alone. The…” Her gaze darts between the two of us. “Savin told you. You dropping me off will only exacerbate whatever is going on.” She seems unsure of her own words and as much as I want to draw her into my chest for the comfort we both so desperately need, this couldn’t be a worse location. She steps closer, raising her chin as she displays that confident Beta that I know her to be. “Alpha, I know you want to protect me but I need to do this to protect my sanity. My sister is home so I’ll be okay. The chaos is just so much easier in the dark.”
My heart breaks at those words, knowing that we’re slowly pulling her into a world that’s so far out of her comfort zone. In our selfish need to have her, I didn’t stop to truly think about how jarring it could be to suffer through public ridicule. I’ve been in the limelight for so long that I’ve forgotten those terrible few years when I started in the business. Savin and I joke about it so often that it doesn’t phase us.