Page 27 of Claim Her
“I’m sorry, Alec. I can’t do this. Not with you. Especially not with you. You saved me. God knows what would have happened if you didn’t. You got punished for it.” I take a deep breath, my hands trembling. “I feel like the worst person in the world for doing this to you, but I don’t want to remember that life anymore. Years after I escaped, I woke up screaming because of the nightmares. I … I can’t. I’m so sorry.”
The worst part in all of these is the look of understanding he gives me. I see a reflection of my own pain in his stormy eyes. He unintentionally reflects it back to me in a way that leaves me exposed and … vulnerable.
He doesn’t need to say the words. It’s there in the softness of his expression, the mask of icy rage he felt earlier at the mention of his uncle gone. He knows the chaos of emotions threatening to choke the life out of me, and he knows how hard I’m trying to keep myself together.
On wobbly legs, I back away from him and spin toward the door. When my fingers wrap around the cold metallic knob, I cast an apologetic glance over my shoulder and swallow past the lump in my throat. “Goodbye, Alec.”
“Goodbye, Zara.”
* * *
My hand trembles as I dial Mom’s number. I can’t even get my breathing under control. My nose keeps running, and my heart feels like someone just punched it repeatedly.
Pain twists my insides, making me drop to the floor clutching my stomach. I want to throw up. I want to scream. I want to dig myself into a hole and never come out.
“Honey?” Mom’s voice sounds so far away, like I have cotton in my ears.
“Mom,” I choke out. That single word hangs in the air, and I know she can hear the raw emotion, the anguish, and the unbearable ache.
“Zara? Honey. What is it? Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you? I’m booking a flight asap.”
I struggle for control and try to steady my breath. Mom will drop everything and be here if I ask her to, but I can’t do that. I need to process this all by myself. I need to go over everything I learned in therapy and apply it all over again. “No, no. I … I just need someone to talk to.”
“Okay, honey. I’m here. Talk to me.”
“It’s … it’s Alec. You know, my neighbor.”
“The hot one?”
Despite the heartbreak, this pulls a smile from me. “Yes, him.”
“What did he do to you? Do you need me to call the cops? Dad and I can be there in four hours at the latest.”
“No, Mom. That’s not … that’s not it. I-it’s him.”
“Him?”
“He’s the boy who saved me.” After the revelation leaves my lips, my sobs erupt in another ragged, gut-wrenching burst. Between gasping breaths, I try to speak, but the only thing I manage to get out are deep, shuddering sobs.
“Honey, are you sure?” Mom’s tone is low, and it’s as if she’s struggling to keep her emotions in check.
“Yes.”
“How did you find out?”
“I saw my old hair clip at his place, the one I left in that prison cell.”
Mom’s voice breaks, and that spears me more than anything. “We’re coming over, okay? You’re not alone, honey.”
“Mom, you said Dad has a conference.”
“I don’t care. He’ll want to be there for you too.”
“It’s fine, Mom. I need time to … to deal with my emotions alone first. I won’t do anything, I promise. I’ll just lie in bed and process everything.”
“Honey…”
“Please, Mom? I’ll let you know if I want you to come over. Knowing you’re there, one call away, is more than enough for me right now.”