Page 71 of Desire
“To summarize, I wouldn’t marry her if she were the last woman on earth, and once she had my baby, she could kick rocks.”
“Damn, I’m sure that caused an uproar. What happened next?”
“The argument we had was so intense it caused her to go into labor. When she gave birth to Azaria, I saw hate in her eyes every time she looked at her. There was no way in hell I wanted to raise my child with her or leave my child in her care.”
“I don’t blame you, baby. I can’t believe you dealt with all that while running for mayor.”
“It was challenging, but like I said, I did what I needed to do. The night we argued, she said some vile things that I don’t want to repeat because I still feel sick when I think about them. Azaria’s life was in danger as soon as she took her first breath.”
We sat quietly for a few minutes as I allowed Desire to process the information I’d shared, and I tried to erase the memories of the night Iris told me exactly how she planned to kill our child. I must have zoned out because I hadn’t noticed Desire standing and moving behind me.
“Az, I’m sorry, baby.” She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. “I’m sorry you had such a horrible experience. I know you didn’t want to, and it was hard, but thank you for loving and trusting me enough to tell me the whole truth.”
I took her hand and pulled her around to sit on my lap. Her support and understanding were appreciated, but this story wasn’t over.
“You’re my wife, and I’ve chosen to spend the rest of my days with you. There’s never a time when I shouldn’t be comfortable sharing things with you.”
“And there’s never a time I shouldn’t trust your word.”
He hesitated briefly. “There’s more.”
“More? Oh my God.”
“For the past three years, Iris has been in a mental institution.”
She gasped as her eyes widened. “You had her committed?”
“I didn’t personally have her committed, but her doctor and two nurses suggested she be evaluated because of her lack of interest and desire to connect with Azaria. The psychiatrist who did the evaluation interviewed me, and I told her everything. Based on what I’d said, they ruled out postpartum.”
“Wow.”
“She also interviewed her family, and Iris had shown signs of mental illness her entire life. With medication, she could manage it, but she didn’t take it regularly. What sealed her fate was when one of the nurses overheard her spewing the most hateful things to Azaria. I’d stepped out to take a phone call and asked the nurse to stay with them because I was afraid to leave them alone.
I’m grateful Azaria was too young to understand the vicious things her mother spoke over her life, the evil things she planned to do to her, all because I didn’t love or want to marry her, but I was thankful she spoke the words out loud, and someone overheard her.”
Tears fell from Desire’s eyes, and I wiped them away with my thumbs. Talking about that situation made my heart heavy, and I was sure hers was too. I hadn’t discussed it since it happened, and I prayed this would be the last time I would have to do so.
“You’re an amazing father. Your love for Ria is tangible, and you look at her with so much pride and joy. It’s beautiful to witness. I now understand why you’re so intentional and hands-on with her. She’s a lucky little girl.”
“Thank you, baby. I wanted her from the moment I knew she was conceived and went through a lot to make sure she took her first breath.”
“She’s worth that and more.”
“Most definitely. I want to apologize again for last night. This topic?—”
“Baby, we’re good. I understand why you didn’t want to talk about this. You don’t have to keep apologizing. We’re good.”
“Desire, you’ve been such an amazing addition to our lives, and I appreciate how you love us, but if you ever in your life lock me out of our marital bedroom, or any room for that matter, I’ll kick the hinges off the door. I love you.”
She laughed at my comment, but I didn’t crack a smile, letting her know how serious I was.
“I love you, too,” she responded.
We shared a long kiss that had the potential to lead to Desire being bent over the breakfast bar before we heard Azaria calling for us. Her little voice would always be music to my ears, even when she was cockblocking.
Later that night, I showered alone while Aziel got Azaria ready for bed. When she woke up from her nap, he loved on her more than usual. He was always affectionate toward her, but today was different.
His hugs were longer, and kisses more frequent. He laughed hysterically at her silly stories and tickled her until she pleaded for him to stop. Her excitement was contagious when he agreed to read her two bedtime stories.