Page 2 of Forever Enough

Christmas.

It had always been my favorite time of year and this year was no different. After months of being out on the road touring with the PBR, I always looked forward to heading home, and looking around the room, I realized our family has been growing more and more in my absence.

I let out a soft laugh. In truth, the only family in the room—blood family, that is—was my sister Avery and my mother and father. The rest of the group was the Shaw family. Brock Shaw was my father’s best friend from childhood. They grew up together. Rode bulls together, and competed against one another as professionals. Brock had three brothers, including Tanner and Ty Jr.

Beck was the youngest of the Shaw brothers, and sadly, he’d died only days before being discharged from the Marine Corps. The family still grieved the loss of Beck.

Avery and I grew up calling the Shaw brothers our uncles. Their kids were just like our brothers and sisters. We were all one big family, blood related or not. We loved each other fiercely and protected one another even more. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for any of the people in this room.

Stella and Ty Sr. were the head of the Shaw family. They were also like my grandparents. They treated me and Avery no differently than they treated their blood grandkids, Blayze, Tanner, Morgan, Lily, Rose, Josh, and Nathan. We were loved just as much.

My eyes scanned the room and came to rest on Hunter, leaning over and talking to his wife’s belly. Kipton was due in January, and I knew they were both excited. Hunter was going to make a great father. Just like his older brother Blayze, who was an incredible father. He and his wife, Georgiana, had twin boys. Rhett and Ryder were a year-and-a-half old. And Hunter and Blayze’s sister, Morgan, had a little girl, Blakley, who was about the same age as the twins, just a few weeks younger. It seemed like all of my cousins were either married now and having kids, or about to be married. At least the ones who were old enough, anyway.

I sighed before I took a drink of the ice water I had in my hand. The happiness and love that filled the room was something I missed when I was out on the road. But once I got home and spent enough time around my family, I was reminded how…lonely my own life seemed.

I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, if I was being honest with myself. The only thing I have ever wanted to do was ride in the PBR. It was my dream. It was my primary goal, and I had achieved it…and now I just felt…empty. I wasn’t sure if I was tired of being on the road, or maybe the time of year was making me feel a bit sentimental, or if it was something else.

My eyes went to Rose, who was smiling up at her husband, Bryson. Moving on, I saw Lily snuggled up with Maverick. They both looked so in love.

Jealousy. Envy. Longing. That was exactly what I was feeling.

What in the hell is wrong with me?

I have an amazing career. I had more money in my bank account than I knew what to do with at nearly twenty-four years old, and if I wanted to spend the night with a woman, there were plenty of them waiting at my hotel each night.

A squeal of laughter came from Blakley as my sister spun her around in a circle, while Blakley’s parents, Morgan and Ryan, looked on with wide smiles on their faces.

I glanced over at my mother, who was observing them, and noticed the look of longing on her face. She had never once pressured me about settling down. She knew how much my career meant to me and supported me a hundred-and-ten percent. As did my father. I knew he was proud of me and bragged often about how good I was—but still not as good as him. He’d never give up those particular bragging rights, I figured.

Smiling, I looked for Dad. He wasn’t far from where my mother stood, which didn’t surprise me. Where my mother was, my father would always be close by. If I ever did manage to fall in love someday, I wanted a love like theirs. Hell, I wanted a love like everyone in this room had. There had to be something in the water here, that was for damn sure.

Dad had his head bent down as he listened to something Brock was saying. The look on his face was serious, so I imagined they were talking business. The Shaws owned a cattle ranch not far from our spread. A short twenty-minute drive or so. It was larger than my father’s. Each of the Shaw brothers lived on the ranch, and all of them had a hand in the cattle business, but Ty Jr. also raised bulls for bull riding, and was one of the top stock contractors of the PBR.

Tanner ran a horse rescue with his wife, Timberlynn, as well as a horse-training business. His daughter Lily was making her own name as a trainer for barrel riding, and her future husband, Maverick, was rumored to be a horse whisperer. If there was a horse with an emotional problem, Maverick somehow knew how to help them.

My father’s cattle ranch was smaller, but still one of the bigger ranches in Montana. My mother grew up on a farm right next to Dad’s family’s ranch, where her parents had a pick-your-own farm. Spring, summer, and fall, you could visit the farm and pick fresh fruits and vegetables. Strawberries and blueberries were the most popular when my mother was growing up. Ever since she and my uncle Michael took it over, it had grown to become one of the best pick-your-own farms in the state. People came from all over to visit.

When I was younger, I loved helping my mother plant things. The older I got, though, the more I wanted to be with my father. Simply because I wanted to be my father. In all ways. No one was surprised when I showed an interest in bull riding. Nor was anyone surprised when I started competing at an early age.

I knew my mother secretly hated it, but she loved her kids and supported us. Just like she supported Avery when she decided that, at fifteen, she wanted to move to Paris to model. Mom was heartbroken, but she never showed how much it hurt her to have both of her children gone from home as much as we were. The sorrow on my mother’s face and the sadness in my father’s eyes when neither thought I was looking was the main reason I was seriously thinking of walking away from the PBR. For good.

That aching feeling in my chest was back, and I found myself rubbing it with my hand. I thought back to the other day, when I’d sat my mother and father down to talk to them about my future in professional bull riding. I still loved it, but these changes inside of me had been brewing for the last year. My heart wasn’t fully in it any longer, and I was going to take this time at home to decide if I was going to stay in the PBR, or walk away and work on the ranch.

“Everything okay?”

I jumped at the sound of my cousin Joshua’s voice.

“Wow, you must’ve been deep in thought,” he said with a laugh.

“No,” I replied, “I’m just not used to hearing your voice in a lower pitch.”

Joshua rolled his eyes but smiled.

“Hard to believe you’re a senior in high school, Josh.”

His smile grew into a full-on grin. “And I am counting down the days.”

“Rose told me about your decision on college. Said Uncle Ty and Aunt Kaylee weren’t too happy.”